what are you doing tonight?

The night seems long, and there is no place to go.

photo of a Kyoto street by dsnake1



what are you doing tonight?


the half eaten dinner
is still in the styrofoam box
on the table

perhaps the rice is too sticky
maybe the cook had a bad day
like me

stub out the nth cigarette
sitting in the darkness listening
for a heartbeat

the blue curaco in a tall glass
with borzoi vodka and ice cubes
cools nerves

i light incense to her at the altar
call out her name, see the smoke
like farewells

i clean the dust and oil off
the gas hobs, as she had done
so many years

until the cold steel shines
and my sobs tremble and echo in
the silence

sitting in the quiet dark again
trying to figure out how the years
were wasted.

you will figure out surely
what you are doing tonight
the night answers

then i fire up the power amp
slip a disc into the player
sit back

and wait for Mark Knopfler
and his guitar to take us
to nirvana.


written lovingly 15/09/2007
revised slightly 23/08/2021
********************

---

Dire Straits - On Every Street

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2024

dark side of the moon #12

Don't read this before lunch...

photo by Bruce Tang at Unsplash



dark side of the moon #12


“I think perhaps all of us go a little crazy at times.”
-Psycho, by Robert Bloch


Oh honey, I am home. But you are not eating well these past two days. Hardly ate anything. Or said anything. Just sat there on the sofa watching TV. Old people like us don't eat much, I know, but still one must eat. I bought some fish soup today. The one from your favourite stall. Yes, I met our neighbour Mrs. Lim from the next unit just now, she complained to me of a smell from our house. Said she will call the police if I don't fix it. Fix what? Just our unwashed dishes. Let me keep this can of insect spray, there's a lot of flies and mites lately, and then I will get your food. Here, let me get a clean bowl.


17/10/2022
**********

Magaly at Poets and Storytellers United invites us to write poetry or prose inspired by some scary quotes. I chose one from Psycho.

---

"The Department of Statistics estimates that 83,000 elderly persons will be living alone by 2030, compared with the 47,000 seniors aged 65 and above in 2016."

- The Pride, Am I my neighbour’s keeper? The tragedy of those who die alone

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022

how deep is

"if you imagine us scurrying down to the
tunnels, each of us is an apparition"

dsnake1, the night sticks like wet petals

artwork by Saydung89 at pixabay



how deep is


how deep is
   your love?
down in the
subway tunnels
on late nights
   some nights
aimless rides
the tunnel walls
just inches
from my face
flashing by
our lives
on a reel
of memory
sliding by
till it all ends
on a bleak night
and here i am
all alone
   in the
rumbling wombs
of the trains
   that song
playing again
on the tracks
how deep is
   your love?
till i resurface
to the neon
drenched streets
to the city lights
           starlight



written 21/04/2012
revised 10/07/2012
****************

---

"the train doors close
like a breath exhaling"

dsnake1, and all i see are wet petals on asphalt

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022

there is life yet

" that it rained in June
that our cigarette tips
still burn red and hot

in the cold rain,
smoke trailing like lost dreams
as the world winded down,"

- dsnake1, before the next day

image by Cdd20 at pixabay



there is life yet


to come back home
like coming back from a war
all fights lost
sitting on
the cold ceramic floor
wondering where
the day has died
pulls out a cigarette
pulls out the tab
of a beer can
sitting quietly
sitting in the
gathering darkness
listening
listening
to the sound
of the old refrigerator
fighting back
looking
looking at
the TV staring back
a cold cyclops eye
glaring
and listen
listen!
the distant wail
of the neighbour's baby
crying
crying for milk perhaps
it is comforting to know
some things remain the same
now the father
and the mother bickering
yes, yes, there is life yet.



17/04/2021
**********

---

BAND-MAID - the non-fiction days

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021

50

is it that long already?

photo by Karen Zhao at Unsplash


50


you could be with me today
but i am all by myself
in the train
watching little squares of glass
coloured paint
of apartment blocks
tessellated
rushing by
and the evening sky
threatening to weep.

we could be in a restaurant today
maybe not a fancy one
but nevertheless one
we wanted to try
because i can afford it now
and a couple of
working class beers of course.

but now i am all by
myself
in the train
with anonymous faces
with the sad masses
going home
their rush hour hands
pushing at my shoulders.

and coming out of the tunnels
i wanted to call your name
but the words
the words
they never come
because

the evening sky
had started to turn grey
and
about to weep.


written 21/09/2010
revised 21/09/2018
****************

---

Pink Floyd - Time

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021

the darkness of the night

the darkness sometimes squeezes even the heart...

photo by Free-Photos at pixabay




the darkness of the night



i have walked the darkness of the night
walked these hard streets bearing pain.
my cigarette glows red and the moonlight

slicing blindly through the night's cold rain.
i look for love in the strangest places
all the miles, all the hunting are in vain.

in clubs and lanes where danger crouches
i scan for a face, a smile, your name
till the dawn pities me, i sleep in snatches.

awake again, pull a fag, flick a flame
the fear quietly bites, deadly as a krait
your face grows distant, frame by frame.

i have not come to terms with your flight
i will walk the darkness of the night.



17/04/2014
**********

Tried a structured verse. This is a terza rima, ending with a couplet. Sort of, I hope. This poem has been sitting in the hard drive for some time. Wonder why.

---

Dire Straits - Where Do You Think You're Going

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2019

4 a.m. sunday morning

Written for SingPoWriMo 2016, no eyeballs as you have guessed. The eyeballs are on the pavements somewhere...

photo by harutmovsisyan at pixabay



4 a.m. sunday morning



sometimes nights are like that
awash with shadows
the rain calling your name

the night grumbles and growls
nine floors below
blue red strobe lights, doors slam

the rain is falling, scattering
like silver needles
in the glow of streetlights

voices, muffled by the wind
a woman's plead
shrill, and angry words

take the brawl somewhere nabeh!

or maybe the rain is already
washing the blood
off the cold asphalt.


20/04/2016
**********


I was up at 5 a.m. this morning for a bike ride, and no, the morning wasn't like that. :)

---

And if the sky weeps in muffled sobs: Traffic, Walking in the Wind

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2018

on waking up

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald

artwork by dsnake1, a copy of Mondrian's Composition in Blue, Red, Yellow and Black, 1922



on waking up


you came again, right?
you came in the dead of night.
the nights, they never die
they come on the back of the moon.
we linger in dreams
              in hopes
              or tears
then when the alarm beeps
and the early birds flutter their wings
i see the rust on the window grills
the dust coating the glass panes
when i am too weak
                too sad
                to clean.




07/07/2018
**********

---

And if you want get up : Dire Straits, On Every Street

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2018

teddy bear

There is only so much grief we can take. The rest are kept for other days...

image from pixabay





teddy bear


another year already?
your teddy bear sits
alone
on the dressing table
among the combs and cologne.

today i was at the temple
offering incense to you.
silent
i have not heard your voice
for the past two decades.

the man staring back
from the dark glass
has aged.
you may not know him
as the one you had loved.

a mynah lands on the
aircon unit outside.
looks at me
perhaps to ride the rain
perhaps to see me weep.





05/02/2015
28/01/2018
**********


This poem featured at Poets United on February 26, 2018.

---

“...the sun rose each morning to stare into my face with the blank but touching gaze of a lovely retarded child.”

― James Crumley, The Last Good Kiss


and a song for the day : Dire Straits - On Every Street

---

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2018

if we can come this far

It was not to be, but what if? And Time is a tough herder...

photo by dsnake1




if we can come this far


if we can
come this far

will time
forgive us

grasp tightly
what's left

what tender moments
can we salvage

like a scratchy reel
of film

a scent
a word

hold in our hearts
no dementia

no demons
can pry free





written 10.01.2009
revised 13.08.2012
****************


Today is my birthday, & i am glad i can write about it.

---

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars


Shared on Poetry Pantry #330 at Poets United.

---

Song of the moment : Lady of Dreams by Kitaro and Jon Anderson.

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2016

that you left me

Sometimes, in moments of quiet solitude,the past catches up with you and holds your hand. -- dsnake1, Feb 2008




image from imageafter.com






that you left me


i was afraid
time will erase
your memories

your smiles

and i am
getting old


so today
i will just
write

some words

i cannot
send you
a card
like before

or take your
hands in mine

and point to
the stars
in the sky

take this as
a poem

for you

and if you
have read it
you will smile

and would
have cried.



28.01.08
********



This is for Poetry Picnic Week 34.




© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2012

still

The pain is supposed to have passed, but sometimes at the most unexpected moments, at work, in the bus, the train, it comes back and the world seems to be a little bit more lonely.

I wrote this poem for NaPoWriMo 2009, and is posting it for this Poets' Rally Week 56

photo by chelle

image from morguefile.com



still



still missing her
after all these years
even though
from the bus windows
the same roads
the sidewalks
have changed
trees grown taller
shop-houses demolished
new monoliths rise
from the ashes
or
the dark walls
of the subway tunnels
rumbling by in a flash
a few feet from my face
and i have tired
counting
the number of stations
that have grown
and still
some things
have not
changed.


25/04/09
17/11/11
********









© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2011

Lonely when away from home

The mood this week is black, it was crazy days in the office. So here's a moody, angry piece for the weekend.

It was written some time ago, something about my army days. This piece has
been heavily edited.


image enhanced by dsnake1
from a photo from bigfoto.com

Lonely when away from home


Tomorrow, we will be flying over the South China Sea
& home.

after weeks of lugging weapons & fatigue
over rolling hills
sloshing across muddy fields
sleep-marched through small villages
where little children followed you
as if you were movie stars
asking questions, begging for money,
enough is enough

even the placid shores
of Sun Moon Lake
was a short respite
to rest sore limbs
or the whores of Taichung
with their ample cleavage
& tiny shorts
caged in barred rooms like animals
were just fickle distractions.

but tonight, we went on a crazed binge
the last day of R&R
in downtown Taipei
in smoky pubs
we guzzled
like there was no tomorrow
pissed till
our faces greener
than the neon on the walls

one last night in a foreign city
we sat by the road kerbs staring, singing
of brotherhood, to the bruised hills
we were leaving behind.
we shared a smoke
raised beer bottles to the stars
to the jetliners
screaming into the airport
then
as the black shell of a sky fell on us
my comrades, my brothers
my thoughts, their thoughts we tumbled towards home.

Tomorrow, we will be flying over the South China Sea
& home



1988
revised April 2002
revised 01/01/07
****************