there is life yet
" that it rained in June
that our cigarette tips
still burn red and hot
in the cold rain,
smoke trailing like lost dreams
as the world winded down,"
- dsnake1, before the next day
image by Cdd20 at pixabay
there is life yet
to come back home
like coming back from a war
all fights lost
sitting on
the cold ceramic floor
wondering where
the day has died
pulls out a cigarette
pulls out the tab
of a beer can
sitting quietly
sitting in the
gathering darkness
listening
listening
to the sound
of the old refrigerator
fighting back
looking
looking at
the TV staring back
a cold cyclops eye
glaring
and listen
listen!
the distant wail
of the neighbour's baby
crying
crying for milk perhaps
it is comforting to know
some things remain the same
now the father
and the mother bickering
yes, yes, there is life yet.
17/04/2021
**********
BAND-MAID - the non-fiction days
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021
that our cigarette tips
still burn red and hot
in the cold rain,
smoke trailing like lost dreams
as the world winded down,"
- dsnake1, before the next day
there is life yet
to come back home
like coming back from a war
all fights lost
sitting on
the cold ceramic floor
wondering where
the day has died
pulls out a cigarette
pulls out the tab
of a beer can
sitting quietly
sitting in the
gathering darkness
listening
listening
to the sound
of the old refrigerator
fighting back
looking
looking at
the TV staring back
a cold cyclops eye
glaring
and listen
listen!
the distant wail
of the neighbour's baby
crying
crying for milk perhaps
it is comforting to know
some things remain the same
now the father
and the mother bickering
yes, yes, there is life yet.
17/04/2021
**********
BAND-MAID - the non-fiction days
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021
Labels: 90's, loneliness, Work
posted by dsnake1 at 7:07 PM
22 Comments:
Well I am glad that coming home was getting back to the life and home he remembered.
Thank you, Robin!
in this poem, the drudgery of work is not really a life to the narrator. but to hear the baby's cries brings the narrator's world back. :)
I like the contrast between the red hot cigarette tip and the cold rain. The last stanza is mesmerizing. Funny, I found comfort in the normalcy of the baby crying and even its parents bickering.
thank you, Colleen!
yes, the normalcy is in the baby crying, and its parents bickering. this events jolted the narrator back to life. :)
Ah that longing for normalcy, well crafted, in the bickering, in the cigarette glow and the feeling of the rain
Happy Sunday. Thanks for dropping
Much💚love
Thank you, Gillena. :)
How sad the proof of life has to be bickering and not love-talk!
Your blog is amazing.
Beverly,
Thank you.
haha! bickering is a sign of life. :)
Rajani,
Thank you! :)
Some signs of life are not as uplifting as others, huh? But hey, one must make the best of it.
I love the reality of it.
Beautiful writing ................ everything you share.
You have captured the emptiness and loneliness of an unfulfilled life. Sad poem... well written.
Love the poem with some great lines like
'smoke trailing like lost dreams
as the world winded down'
'a cold cyclops eye
glaring'
Love the theme as well that everyday life gives you a sense of normality and comfort
It is interesting that the speaker is happy, in a way, even about the bickering.
Magaly,
No, but still signs of life, nonetheless. and to make the best use of it, like you said.
Thank you! :)
Helen,
Thank you! :)
Cressida,
Thank you! :)
a pretty bleak poem, isn't it?
I very much like the way you've used repetition in this one.
Marja,
Thank you for the comment. :)
Jenna,
Thank you!
yes, interesting, in a strange way. :)
Rosemary,
Thank you!
i think repetition would be useful in such types of poems, where waiting, and inaction are key words. and i like to use short lines in such type of works. :)
I like how you use the repeats to really ground us into the reality of the the piece.
I used to love the smell of burning cigarettes in the rain. But I gave that up 49 years ago.
..
Rommy,
So, the poem (and the repeats) works!
Thank you! :)
Jim,
Good decision! I gave that up about 10+ years ago.
Mind blowing post
Thank you, rajani! :)
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