these trains
riding the trains before smartphones took over the world...
Commonwealth MRT Station, Singapore
photo by dsnake1
these trains
i ride
these trains
quiet rage
looking at tunnel walls
dark walls
roaring past
separated by a metal door
try
reading newspapers
the previous day's wars
football games
to pass the time
else i sleep
standing
holding onto grab poles
in
this heaving beast's
metal belly
as metal wheels
grind
on tortured tracks
i am thinking of the wasted day in the office
as departing station
after station
the recorded audio reminding
DOORS CLOSING !!
the time seems
to have stood
still
still
these dark walls
darkly rage by
se parated only
by a metal door
written 13.05.1998
revised 25.02.2021
****************
BAND-MAID - Alone
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021
photo by dsnake1
these trains
i ride
these trains
quiet rage
looking at tunnel walls
dark walls
roaring past
separated by a metal door
try
reading newspapers
the previous day's wars
football games
to pass the time
else i sleep
standing
holding onto grab poles
in
this heaving beast's
metal belly
as metal wheels
grind
on tortured tracks
i am thinking of the wasted day in the office
as departing station
after station
the recorded audio reminding
DOORS CLOSING !!
the time seems
to have stood
still
still
these dark walls
darkly rage by
se parated only
by a metal door
written 13.05.1998
revised 25.02.2021
****************
BAND-MAID - Alone
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021
Labels: 90's, heartlands, landscape, Singapore, transport, urban
posted by dsnake1 at 10:39 PM
11 Comments:
Perfectly penned ... the train ride to or from! I could feel it, see it, exit it.
Your words are formatted perfectly to suggest the speeding train, the closing doors, flashing window views, etc. Well done!
Compare that to a walk in the country side smelling the sweet wildflowers. Yin and yang i suppose
Happy Sunday Cheong Lee san
Much💜love
You did a really great job building up a feeling of being trapped in this piece. Even with the shape of the poem, which I normally would associate with a more fluid quality, but here feels like ping-ponging back and forth within the constraints of the space allowed.
You capture it well. Hope you're no longer feeling such a sense of futility about the working week.
It almost feels like doing time, passing the time, locked behind a metal door and sleeping while standing could be like some kind of torture.
Helen,
Thank you!
hop on! :)
Beverly,
Thank you, glad you notice the 'running' words. :)
Gillena,
yes, yin and yang!
Thank you! :)
Rommy,
Thank you!
and one can read the poem as a single sentence.
yes, it looks like the poem is ping-ponging back and forth within the space. :)
Rosemary,
i was writing about something that happened sometime back. though i am not working now, i still take the trains.
Colleen,
"almost feels like doing time", what a good description!
metal wheels grinding on "tortured tracks" -
This reminds me of the clacking over uneven rails that we had on my train rides. And the swaying of the car, yes, this brought that back.
Sadly as humanity has evolved we tend to lose the life that is calm and enjoyable to one that is full if competition, envy and wasted time so that some clever person can make a stash of money so we can be paid a little.
Joel,
Thank you!
glad that the poem brought back the memories. :)
Robin,
yes, sadly, i think that is how humanity is evolving.
the combined wealth of the richest 8 persons in the world is equal to the wealth of the poorest 3.5 billion. to put that into perspective, that's 8 persons against half the world's population.
i am glad i am retired. it's a race out there (and since my time). :(
Post a Comment
<< Home