Sunday, December 11, 2022

before the rain

Something old from NaPo days. Short, like the shower that inspired it.


photo by Nick van den Berg at Unsplash


before the rain


The grey clouds rolled away
the afternoon sun
like a squad car shooing off
the crowd at a crime scene,

pulled DO-NOT-CROSS tapes
across the sky
with flares of lightning,
and the blackbirds,
perched at the edges
of the roofs
of apartment blocks,

hesitant
to fly.


05/04/2009
**********


Shared on Friday Writings #56: Cozy. This poem is certainly not cozy. šŸ˜






Uriah Heep - Rain




Ā© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022

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15 Comments:

Blogger Rommy said...

You've definitely built up an unsettling sort of mood, making the reader apprehensive about the rain. Nicely done.

11 December, 2022 03:16  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I love this (short but vivid) description.

11 December, 2022 04:12  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Rommy,

Thank you.
i guess that was the intention, unsettling. :)


Rosemary,

Thank you.
sometimes less is more. :)

11 December, 2022 09:39  
Blogger Priscilla King said...

Nice extended metaphor :-)

11 December, 2022 11:42  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Priscilla! :)

11 December, 2022 16:06  
Anonymous Rajani said...

Oh I like the lightning ticker tapes!!!

11 December, 2022 21:55  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Ah, the lightning tapes!
Thank you, Rajani! :)

11 December, 2022 23:46  
Blogger Stacy MS said...

A wonderful moment captured! Great poem.

13 December, 2022 04:02  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Stacy.
Thanks for the visit to my blog. :)

13 December, 2022 16:39  
Blogger colleen said...

I like the action image!

13 December, 2022 22:33  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Colleen!

We have some pretty unexpected thunderstorms here. :)

14 December, 2022 00:22  
Blogger purplepeninportland.com said...

Decidedly uncozy. Iā€™m thinking about the hesitant birds.

16 December, 2022 23:02  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

šŸ˜ Definitely!

Thank you, Sara!

17 December, 2022 00:11  
Blogger ashok said...

Well written

17 December, 2022 00:19  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Ashok! :)

17 December, 2022 08:52  

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