Sunday, March 14, 2021

these trains

riding the trains before smartphones took over the world...

Commonwealth MRT Station, Singapore
photo by dsnake1

these trains

i ride
     these trains
         quiet rage
             looking at tunnel walls
                               dark walls
                    roaring past
separated by a metal door
   reading newspapers
          the previous day's wars
                       football games
          to pass the time
    else i sleep
            holding onto grab poles
                this heaving beast's
     metal belly
as metal wheels
                 on tortured tracks
i am thinking of the wasted day in the office
as departing station
           after station
                   the recorded audio reminding
                  DOORS CLOSING !!
          the time seems
to have stood


     these dark walls
      darkly rage by
      se parated only
      by a metal door

written 13.05.1998
revised 25.02.2021


© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021

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Blogger Helen said...

Perfectly penned ... the train ride to or from! I could feel it, see it, exit it.

14 March, 2021 23:58  
Blogger indybev said...

Your words are formatted perfectly to suggest the speeding train, the closing doors, flashing window views, etc. Well done!

15 March, 2021 00:17  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Compare that to a walk in the country side smelling the sweet wildflowers. Yin and yang i suppose

Happy Sunday Cheong Lee san


15 March, 2021 01:05  
Blogger Rommy said...

You did a really great job building up a feeling of being trapped in this piece. Even with the shape of the poem, which I normally would associate with a more fluid quality, but here feels like ping-ponging back and forth within the constraints of the space allowed.

15 March, 2021 03:21  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

You capture it well. Hope you're no longer feeling such a sense of futility about the working week.

15 March, 2021 04:11  
Blogger colleen said...

It almost feels like doing time, passing the time, locked behind a metal door and sleeping while standing could be like some kind of torture.

15 March, 2021 12:19  
Blogger dsnake1 said...


Thank you!
hop on! :)


Thank you, glad you notice the 'running' words. :)


yes, yin and yang!
Thank you! :)

15 March, 2021 16:20  
Blogger dsnake1 said...


Thank you!
and one can read the poem as a single sentence.
yes, it looks like the poem is ping-ponging back and forth within the space. :)


i was writing about something that happened sometime back. though i am not working now, i still take the trains.


"almost feels like doing time", what a good description!

15 March, 2021 16:37  
Blogger Joel (@Stranded Tree) said...

metal wheels grinding on "tortured tracks" -
This reminds me of the clacking over uneven rails that we had on my train rides. And the swaying of the car, yes, this brought that back.

16 March, 2021 10:28  
Blogger Old Egg said...

Sadly as humanity has evolved we tend to lose the life that is calm and enjoyable to one that is full if competition, envy and wasted time so that some clever person can make a stash of money so we can be paid a little.

16 March, 2021 13:11  
Blogger dsnake1 said...


Thank you!
glad that the poem brought back the memories. :)


yes, sadly, i think that is how humanity is evolving.
the combined wealth of the richest 8 persons in the world is equal to the wealth of the poorest 3.5 billion. to put that into perspective, that's 8 persons against half the world's population.
i am glad i am retired. it's a race out there (and since my time). :(

16 March, 2021 18:49  

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