Temperature
i submitted this haiku to haikuworld's January 2007 Kukai (Free Format Entry). Guess it didn't do too well. It shared 19th place with 16 others, with just one vote. Thanks to the person who gave me that vote. And the winning entries are really good. Congrats to the winners!
Hmm, I think the image I drew is nicer than the haiku. :)
image by dsnake1
Temperature
thirty-eight degrees
troops goose-stepping in hobnails
across my brain
January 2007
************
Hmm, I think the image I drew is nicer than the haiku. :)
image by dsnake1
Temperature
thirty-eight degrees
troops goose-stepping in hobnails
across my brain
January 2007
************
Labels: fever, haiku, kukai, Poetry, temperature
posted by dsnake1 at 12:15 AM
22 Comments:
don't give up, dsnake. i think you have the talent.
haiku is about show, don't tell, using image to express feeling. no room for musings or opinions, put ego to the background...
usually works best with two images juxtaposed to convey the message...
oh, and i love the image.
This comment has been removed by the author.
That picture is great and what you write is currently my state of mind!
well I like it -- didn't know about this worldhaiku thing.
Fantastic sketch!!! 19th out of how many places??
polona,
thanks for the pointers. i have a lot to learn. i think i will try the next one too. :)
gautami,
thank you!
feeling better already?
andrew,
thanks!
i think you will find this competition interesting. you can check it out here
i like both the image and the words
hey pat, you must be posting while i was typing! :)
i like the sketch too.
Er, it was 19 / 20. :D
floots,
while i was replying to Pat, you came in too! what a busy day!
thank you, my friend.
Hey Dsnake,
There are always rejections for every type of art from writing to art. As you may have noticed, I'm also a visual artist. I'm proud that my artwork has been accepted into many juried shows and some galleries, but I was and *still am* , rejected from shows. That's the downside of the subjective and opinion-oriented aspects of the arts (writing, music, visual art, etc.) Congratulations for trying and entering! Too many people do not even try, so hats off to you. :)
Personally, I like the 2nd line of your haiku alot. That "goose-stepping" evokes such a clear and interesting image in my mind.
I also like the softness of your artwork.
I thought the haiku and the drawing were excellent....sorry I havent been visiting, hit by two waves of floods.....check out my latest at
http://alwaysmorebeyond.multiply.com still in the process of making, I will link your blog there
hi GEL,
it's nice to hear from you! that's art, it's subjective. some days it looks good, some days, it don't :)
i'm not disappointed or dejected by the poor showing. There's always rejections, esp. in arts. in an experiment, one of Charles Bukowski's poems was rejected by not one, but 5 literary e-zines. :)
coming from a visual artist, (and the lovely people who had commented earlier) the comment about my artwork really brightens the day (or is it night?) :)
hi plus!
you came in while i was replying to GEL.
sorry to hear about your difficult times during the floods. hope everything is fine now.
and i see that you still managed to post a very good poem. :)
i will link to your new blog too. :)
thanks!
oh seems like an attack of migraine!
wonderful imagery!!
Its true do not give up...next time sread the work in the blog so we can vote for u..I did not know about it
hey magiceye,
thank you.
i was thinking along the lines of a fever but migraine is ok too. :)
hi nasra,
thanks for visiting. i am afraid it's not possible because only the participating poets get to vote. :)
Hi Dsnake,
I can't find an email address or I'd use that...
I've linked to you for a while if you desire to link back to me. If not, I don't mind. The only reason I mention it, is because I think you used to have my link up when you were reading my poetry blog "Silken Threads" or "Irrepressible Secrets" where I posted using the SilvermOOn name. I dropped using that pseudonym. So, I'm that same woman.
I "met" you via Bluesky Liz many moons ago when your blog looked different than it does now although you used the same distinctive profile photo. :)
hi GEL,
i will be most glad to link to you, and i have just added your new blog.
yeah, i have visited when you were posting as SilvermOOn. it was a joy to read your posts then, and it is still a joy now.
i have also added an email link on my blog page, in case u guys want to contact me. hope the link works. LOL.
"your little red friend" :)
Huh? What little red friend?
alson, alson,
didn't you notice my nice little profile photo?
anyway, coming from our little red dot of a country, aren't we all little red friends? (actually i think one of my blogger friends called me that first.)
Hi, I am stting up another site at Multiply, I would like to feature you there, I am only linking a select few, not anybody who write verse, please give me a short 10 lines write up about yourself which I can use in the "desciption" column, meanwhile click here to check it out, please reply to
http://alwaysmorebeyond.multiply.com
hi plus,
thank you!
i have sent you a mail regarding my profile, please feel free to edit if need to.
i have posted a comment in your new site, but it seemed to have disappeared. :)
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