9:10 (what if)
9 is supposed to be forever, but it isn't.
photo by dsnake1
9:10 (what if)
And I turned my head and there she was.
The winter rain , like cigarette ash dropping from lamplights.
Can you count all the colours in a sunrise?
All the road signs, none pointing you the way.
Just a damn simple job and you screwed it.
Think of a million excuses but none will stick.
The winter roads, bare trees all, look the same.
My world has turned a shade of battleship grey.
Cigarette butts trapped in pools of water beside me.
I turn my head expecting her and she wasn't.
written : 04/02/2023
revised : 30/10/2024
**********************
If you have noticed, there are exactly 9 words in each of the 10 lines. What are the numbers supposed to mean? A significant point in time? September? Eternity?
Elton John - Your Song
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2025
9:10 (what if)
And I turned my head and there she was.
The winter rain , like cigarette ash dropping from lamplights.
Can you count all the colours in a sunrise?
All the road signs, none pointing you the way.
Just a damn simple job and you screwed it.
Think of a million excuses but none will stick.
The winter roads, bare trees all, look the same.
My world has turned a shade of battleship grey.
Cigarette butts trapped in pools of water beside me.
I turn my head expecting her and she wasn't.
written : 04/02/2023
revised : 30/10/2024
**********************
If you have noticed, there are exactly 9 words in each of the 10 lines. What are the numbers supposed to mean? A significant point in time? September? Eternity?
Elton John - Your Song
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2025
Labels: experimental, longing, loss, Poetic forms
posted by dsnake1 at 1:07 AM
14 Comments:
Moral of the story, give your Miss the attention she wants and stop worrying about things you can not do anything about any way.
Beautiful imagery poetically expressed. Your Song a good choice to reflect the mood.Enjoyed this.
Oh yes, I know that too – with the she a he.
When we expect something & do not find,
When we hope life's good, but it isn't kind...
I like how the rain is dropping from the lamplights and how you painted the cold wet atmosphere
Jim,
Thank you!
I will keep that in mind. :)
Rallentanda,
Thank you!
Glad you like the song choice..
Rosemary,
Thank you!
you knew it was about loss too. :)
Anita,
Love your comment!
You have encapsulate the gist of the poem with the 2 rhyming lines. 😊
Marja,
Thank you!
I like atmospheric poems. 🙂
I was admonished once for always having great expectations, most of which amounted to nothing. I'd rather have them and if they do not turn out, I write a poem. So have you, and it's a beautiful one.
The longings in eternity..........like number 9....maybe September has a secret.......8 could feel the pain
Nick,
Thank you!
I think what is important is, listen to your own heart. It can tell you things others can't. :)
Jossina,
longings can be a beast. it can last...forever. :)
"The winter rain , like cigarette ash dropping from lamplights."
Great imagery!
Thank you, Sara! :)
All the roadsigns...👏
Thank you, Shaun.
Yes, isn't this sad? this line was actually from one of my unpublished poems. 😀
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