gangster movie
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
- Mary Oliver
photo by Sammy-Williams at pixabay
gangster movie
The pool hall is dark except for
the lights at the beige tables.
Two very bulky military police
guys push open the doors
and saunter into the hall
their eyes sharpened
for army deserters
their polished helmets
gleaming in the dim lights
their .45s automatics
in their holsters.
Boys, keep drinking your beers
don't get us into trouble.
The chatter dropped to a whisper
the clatter of ivory balls stopped
as they walked across the hall
steely eyes fixing on every face
every twitch of taut muscle
every curl of cigarette smoke
and there and then
i felt like a useless extra
in a gangster movie.
written 29/04/2009
revised 30/11/2012
revised 06/07/2021
***************
Note the revisions. A very longish poem came to this...
SiM - The Sound of Breath
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021
- Mary Oliver
gangster movie
The pool hall is dark except for
the lights at the beige tables.
Two very bulky military police
guys push open the doors
and saunter into the hall
their eyes sharpened
for army deserters
their polished helmets
gleaming in the dim lights
their .45s automatics
in their holsters.
Boys, keep drinking your beers
don't get us into trouble.
The chatter dropped to a whisper
the clatter of ivory balls stopped
as they walked across the hall
steely eyes fixing on every face
every twitch of taut muscle
every curl of cigarette smoke
and there and then
i felt like a useless extra
in a gangster movie.
written 29/04/2009
revised 30/11/2012
revised 06/07/2021
***************
Note the revisions. A very longish poem came to this...
SiM - The Sound of Breath
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021
posted by dsnake1 at 5:18 PM
17 Comments:
This is as vivid as a scene in a movie. Wonderful writing.
Thank you, Debi. :)
Your poem is intriguing, makes me want more and more. I am waiting ~~~~~~~
wow this is so visual I felt as if I was in the scene Great poem
I really love the mood you've set up here. Debi is right. This is quite cinematic.
Wow! I felt like I was in that room.
Marja,
Thank you! :)
Rommy,
Thank you.
This scene really happens while I was serving in the military. :)
Sara,
Thank you! :)
Thank you, Helen!
Blogger sent your comment to the spam folder. The nerve of it!
These are bits and pieces of what I remembered during my military service. :)
Yes, I agree with what everyone else already said. You had me holding my breath too, along with the 'boys'!
Gripping !
Rosemary,
Thank you!
We were hoping none of "the boys" in the room are the people the guys are looking for. :)
Rallentanda,
Thank you! :)
It reads and sounds like a Gangster Movie - Very Envolving write.
Thank you, Alan! :)
Paints a vivid picture.
Thank you, Priscilla. :)
Brilliant imaging!
Thank you, magiceye! :)
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