Sunday, April 17, 2022

this is not the right time to think about dinner

Fear is not evil. It tells you what weakness is. And once you know your weakness, you can become stronger as well as kinder.”
– Gildarts Clive (Fairy Tail)

photo by Marjan Blan from Unsplash

  this is not the right time      to think about dinner

my boots sank into the mud     (space enough for one more )
  a carcass of a dog nearby     one more war number          
       half sunk in the mire     some fur or hair broke free
purplish belly, bloated     sloshing in the slush    
and the flies, the flies     more flies, squadrons  
buzzing buzzing     circling, looking  
like orbiting choppers     to drop their eggs      
       the rain still falling     little droplets glisten cold
on man, trees and grass     the weeds thick on boots
       this jungle trail     slick and treacherous
of crushed ferns and twigs     spears of dead bamboo      
this is an orchard with      jaws of razor teeth      
     no promises of life     silence & quick breaths
then the point man yelled     and was then silent          
         we froze     someone curses
   guns hugging bodies     we try to stay silent     
        raindrops dripping     fear dripping off helmets
    off the muzzles of rifles     clicks off safety catches     
       we lift our wet rifles     aim into the half darkness
   arms numbed with cold     and prepare to fire           


Are you enjoying your war movie?
I am afraid that the poem will not display well on smaller screens.

Twin cinema, which this poem is written in, is a poetic form written in two discrete columns. Each column can be read individually from top to bottom. It can present correlating or differing images. It can also be able to be read across the two columns. When doing so, each poem (Column 1, Column 2, and across the 2 columns) may tell a different story. The first twin cinema poem was created by Singaporean poet Yeow Kai Chai.

The Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022

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Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

An intriguing form which you have handled very well to make a compelling read either way. (Even though I do not normally like war movies, nor thoughts of real wars.)

17 April, 2022 10:21  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Rosemary.
Yes, it's an intriguing form, and one not too hard to handle, in my opinion. In fact, i have tried something like this in my very early poems, though it wasn't meant to read across as well.
In this poem, there are some personal experiences woven in as well. :)

17 April, 2022 13:58  
Blogger Rommy said...

A very tricky form to work with. But you pulled it off powerfully. The gallows humor title sets it up well, and the drip, drip, drip of the details amps up the tension.

17 April, 2022 22:33  
Blogger J M Beames said...

I like how it can be read in different ways with different outcomes. Sometimes I re-read someones' work and it reads differently each time.

18 April, 2022 04:37  
Blogger dsnake1 said...


A tricky form, and i think i pulled it off quite well here. :)

J M,

Thank you!
yes, sometimes re-reading someone's work gives a different insight.

18 April, 2022 22:29  
Blogger Anita Sabat said...

Thanks for introducing to their interesting form.
First time saw such attempt.

20 April, 2022 14:26  
Anonymous Rajani said...

This is a challenging form... love all the details you've incorporated.

20 April, 2022 21:00  
Blogger dsnake1 said...


Thank you for the visit to the blog.
Yes, it's an interesting form, and quite daunting at first sight, but it's quite doable. :)


Thank you!
I was hoping the details work, and not too overwhelming. :)

20 April, 2022 22:22  
Blogger Helen said...

Truly amazing poetry ... a difficult form (which I am tempted to try) ... a poem that hits hard, hits deep. Well done.

21 April, 2022 00:04  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Helen!
A difficult form at first look, but doable. :)

21 April, 2022 21:40  

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