this is not the right time to think about dinner
Fear is not evil. It tells you what weakness is. And once you know your weakness, you can become stronger as well as kinder.”
– Gildarts Clive (Fairy Tail)
photo by Marjan Blan from Unsplash
this is not the right time to think about dinner
my boots sank into the mud (space enough for one more )
a carcass of a dog nearby one more war number
half sunk in the mire some fur or hair broke free
purplish belly, bloated sloshing in the slush
and the flies, the flies more flies, squadrons
buzzing buzzing circling, looking
like orbiting choppers to drop their eggs
the rain still falling little droplets glisten cold
on man, trees and grass the weeds thick on boots
this jungle trail slick and treacherous
of crushed ferns and twigs spears of dead bamboo
this is an orchard with jaws of razor teeth
no promises of life silence & quick breaths
then the point man yelled and was then silent
we froze someone curses
guns hugging bodies we try to stay silent
raindrops dripping fear dripping off helmets
off the muzzles of rifles clicks off safety catches
we lift our wet rifles aim into the half darkness
arms numbed with cold and prepare to fire
25/10/2021
**********
Are you enjoying your war movie?
I am afraid that the poem will not display well on smaller screens.
Twin cinema, which this poem is written in, is a poetic form written in two discrete columns. Each column can be read individually from top to bottom. It can present correlating or differing images. It can also be able to be read across the two columns. When doing so, each poem (Column 1, Column 2, and across the 2 columns) may tell a different story. The first twin cinema poem was created by Singaporean poet Yeow Kai Chai.
The Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022
– Gildarts Clive (Fairy Tail)
this is not the right time to think about dinner
a carcass of a dog nearby one more war number
half sunk in the mire some fur or hair broke free
purplish belly, bloated sloshing in the slush
and the flies, the flies more flies, squadrons
buzzing buzzing circling, looking
like orbiting choppers to drop their eggs
the rain still falling little droplets glisten cold
on man, trees and grass the weeds thick on boots
this jungle trail slick and treacherous
of crushed ferns and twigs spears of dead bamboo
this is an orchard with jaws of razor teeth
no promises of life silence & quick breaths
then the point man yelled and was then silent
we froze someone curses
guns hugging bodies we try to stay silent
raindrops dripping fear dripping off helmets
off the muzzles of rifles clicks off safety catches
we lift our wet rifles aim into the half darkness
arms numbed with cold and prepare to fire
25/10/2021
**********
Are you enjoying your war movie?
I am afraid that the poem will not display well on smaller screens.
Twin cinema, which this poem is written in, is a poetic form written in two discrete columns. Each column can be read individually from top to bottom. It can present correlating or differing images. It can also be able to be read across the two columns. When doing so, each poem (Column 1, Column 2, and across the 2 columns) may tell a different story. The first twin cinema poem was created by Singaporean poet Yeow Kai Chai.
The Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022
Labels: fantasy, fatigue, military, Poetic forms, twin cinema
posted by dsnake1 at 12:19 AM
10 Comments:
An intriguing form which you have handled very well to make a compelling read either way. (Even though I do not normally like war movies, nor thoughts of real wars.)
Thank you, Rosemary.
Yes, it's an intriguing form, and one not too hard to handle, in my opinion. In fact, i have tried something like this in my very early poems, though it wasn't meant to read across as well.
In this poem, there are some personal experiences woven in as well. :)
A very tricky form to work with. But you pulled it off powerfully. The gallows humor title sets it up well, and the drip, drip, drip of the details amps up the tension.
I like how it can be read in different ways with different outcomes. Sometimes I re-read someones' work and it reads differently each time.
Rommy,
A tricky form, and i think i pulled it off quite well here. :)
J M,
Thank you!
yes, sometimes re-reading someone's work gives a different insight.
Thanks for introducing to their interesting form.
First time saw such attempt.
This is a challenging form... love all the details you've incorporated.
Anita,
Thank you for the visit to the blog.
Yes, it's an interesting form, and quite daunting at first sight, but it's quite doable. :)
Rajani,
Thank you!
I was hoping the details work, and not too overwhelming. :)
Truly amazing poetry ... a difficult form (which I am tempted to try) ... a poem that hits hard, hits deep. Well done.
Thank you, Helen!
A difficult form at first look, but doable. :)
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