Sunday, March 07, 2021

dark side of the moon #6

The money in the box seems very little. For someone who has given much.

photo by robenmarie at morguefile

dark side of the moon #6

He is holding the erhu like an uneasy stick insect.
He knows there is not much cash in the old shoe box.
He wonders if he is going to go hungry again tonight.

He is having a reunion dinner with his old parents again.
Zhaojun, my Beauty, you turn your head and look at me!
A wide smile forms on his lips, not seen in many days.

The police are alerted to an old, still busker at the station.

original longish poem : 23/07/2019
revised to a sevenling : 14/10/2020

Notes :
* erhu                  :  a two-stringed bowed musical instrument.
* Wang Zhaojun   :  one of the 4 Great Beauties of China.

* The original poem is very much longer. Changing it to a sevenling form condenses it to a more manageable, compact format with the imagery taking on a more enigmatic hue.

"one shoe in the corner
standing upright
the other laying on its

yes, some lives were made to be

-- Charles Bukowski, it was just a little while ago

© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2021

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Blogger Helen said...

The Sevenling form lends itself quite well here ... your notes make it even more fascinating.

08 March, 2021 10:48  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Helen! :)

08 March, 2021 11:03  
Blogger Marja said...

Didn't know this form Nice Very touching how the Zhaojun makes him smile despite hunger

08 March, 2021 12:20  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Marja!
it's an interesting form. :)

08 March, 2021 12:59  
Blogger Old Egg said...

I assumed that the mention of the busker being attacked and robbed was the reason he could afford to go to the reunion dinner with his parents.

08 March, 2021 13:22  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thank you, Robin.
no, the busker wasn't attacked, he was just having delusional thoughts before he passed on with old age. i guess that wasn't too clear in the poem. :)

08 March, 2021 14:05  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

The poem was a little mysterious perhaps, but I got that he was having delusional thoughts – lovely delusions, which must have sweetened his passing for him, one hopes. What a contrast to the sad reality. A very moving piece.

08 March, 2021 14:32  
Blogger Gillena Cox said...

Interesting that you used the sevenling.
Happy that you gave us the notes to better understand the story in your poem

Thanks for dropping by my blog


08 March, 2021 15:52  
Blogger dsnake1 said...


yes, a sad reality.
there are others, if we care to look. the single elderly living alone. the ones scavenging for cans and cardboard for a living.


Thank you!
i think it is the first time i am using this form. The original piece reads like prose and is pretty long. :)

08 March, 2021 17:32  
Blogger colleen said...

Once I looked up "erhu" it all came into focus. A snippet of life with a larger story within.

08 March, 2021 21:40  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thank you, Colleen.
this is a bit 'chinese' and perhaps if written in chinese and for that audience, it might work better. but my Chinese language is awful. :)

08 March, 2021 22:25  
Blogger Nithya Venkat said...

The sevenling form has made the poem even more impactful. The explanation of the terms helped to understand better. Great write.

09 March, 2021 00:43  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Nithya! :)

09 March, 2021 08:17  
Blogger Magaly Guerrero said...

The first stanza made me sad, the second gave me hope--perhaps, even, elation--then the closing stanza broke my heart. I want to think that he's dreaming, and the that things will be better at the time of waking. But for some reason, I don't think that's the truth.

10 March, 2021 11:44  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Magaly, that's exactly how the emotions in the poem should roll.

10 March, 2021 18:38  

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