Saturday, December 16, 2006

Heavy Metal

The muse is back. I was watching an awesome display of lightning during a thunderstorm when the words just sort of dropped in. She's still angry, yeah.

Storm clouds over rooftop
image by dsnake1

Heavy Metal

the sky was rocking
heavy metal,
clouds bruised
blue black,
as white light slashed
across its face
it growled
as in pain.

i leaned at the window
as my cigarette smoke
curled outside
to die
in the rain.



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Blogger Bluesky_Liz said...

This is very good.

I like watching lightning. Free fireworks.

16 December, 2006 12:05  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Liz!

it can get scary if you are outside. :)

16 December, 2006 14:46  
Blogger floots said...

really liked this
especially the second stanza
(though it takes its power from the build-up of the first - if that makes sense
i've not been up long - need more coffee) :)

16 December, 2006 15:39  
Blogger Polona said...

i love watching thunderstorms from a safe place...
loved this one. could almost hear and see it.

17 December, 2006 02:16  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thank you. i like the 2nd stanza too, and yes, it builds up from the first, :)

thank you. at this time of the year, there are many thunderstorms here. i watched this one from home, but the previous day, i was caught in one outside. :)

17 December, 2006 08:38  
Blogger Pat Paulk said...

Pain lashes out destroying anything in its way. Excellent poem!!

17 December, 2006 20:46  
Anonymous gel said...

Thunderstorms rock! (as you wrote)
Lightning is amazing.
Terrific poem! I especially like the analogy to "heavy metal" and the entire first stanza. So vivid in sound and images! Your second stanza is in perfect closure.

18 December, 2006 14:16  
Blogger gautami tripathy said...

Lightning exhilarates me! I feel one with nature.

18 December, 2006 20:29  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

i do agree with you on that!
>>"Pain lashes out destroying anything in its way." :)

thank you!
i do like this one too, it was written in a short span of time, and almost no revisions.

i know. :)
recently you wrote about the monsoon.:)

18 December, 2006 22:58  
Blogger magiceye said...


14 January, 2007 10:42  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thank you!

17 January, 2007 22:27  
Blogger Orso Dorato said...

I really like the imagery in this.

05 February, 2007 22:06  

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