i thought i hear your voice in the wind
Okay. I thought I wrote a triolet. I was younger then and don't know much. It is not a triolet, at least not a true one. Can I call it a variant of a triolet? I even drew a new drawing for it.
pencil sketch by dsnake1 enhanced with Snapseed
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
though i have grown old and tired and bitter
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
through all the years, the static, the babble
and battles, without you, are not the same
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
05.09.2007
**********
"Grief is the price we pay for love."
- Queen Elizabeth II
The triolet's form is pretty straightforward. The first line is repeated in the 4th and 7th lines. The 2nd line is repeated in the final line, which looks like there is nothing much to write. The first two end words are used to complete the rhyming scheme. Thus the triolet looks like this : ABaAabAB, the capital letters are repeated lines.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
though i have grown old and tired and bitter
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
through all the years, the static, the babble
and battles, without you, are not the same
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
05.09.2007
**********
"Grief is the price we pay for love."
- Queen Elizabeth II
The triolet's form is pretty straightforward. The first line is repeated in the 4th and 7th lines. The 2nd line is repeated in the final line, which looks like there is nothing much to write. The first two end words are used to complete the rhyming scheme. Thus the triolet looks like this : ABaAabAB, the capital letters are repeated lines.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2022
Labels: love, lovesongs, Poetic forms, triolet
posted by dsnake1 at 12:18 AM
23 Comments:
Triolet or not, it is beautiful... and sad. There is so much longing in this one. I can practically see the speaker, closing his eyes, moving his lips, hearing her voice (in the wind).
You may call this "anything" you wish .... It is incredibly lovely as is the sketch!!!
Thank you, Magaly!
Glad you said that "Triolet or not.."
For a moment i thought of editing it to the true form, but I resisted and left it as it is. :)
Thank you, Helen!
"anything" it is! Glad you like the sketch too. :)
I agree – beautiful and haunting; don't change a thing!
I sometimes try ghazals and sometimes end up calling them quasi-ghazals or contemporary ghazals. 'Ghazal variant' would have been better, and I think I might change to that label (thanks for the inspiration). So I don't see why you can't have a triolet variant!
Thank you, Rosemary, for the input.
a triolet variant it is! :)
Then the scheme changes to ABcAcbAB. :)
A bittersweet poem of longing. I luv the quote from Queen Elizabeth II.
Thanks for linking to Art For Fun Friday
Much💛love
"i thought i hear your voice in the wind," that thought eventually will go away. For the longest time I also saw her face and body along with. No more. I once saw her; she wasn't at all like the image I had been seeing. We sat side by side for our granddaughter's wedding.
..
p.s. I like your drawing and am envious. My drawings are only stick figures, always the same. My mother had that same drawing from back when I was in an early grade in school. It also had a stick horse. I've deteriorated in my art talent.
..
Whatever it's called the words are beautiful!
Lovely drawing and triolet -Christine cmlk79.blogspot.com
Gillena,
Thank you.
I think that quote from Her Majesty fits in very well with the tone of the poem.
Yes, my pleasure to link to Art for Fun Friday. If i have any of my artworks posted with my poems, I will link. :)
Jim,
Thank you!
So, the poem did remind you of someone you know? We do have such flashbacks sometimes, when we hear a voice, see a face, or some object.
Haha, stick figures are fine. You are good in other things. I was good in art since primary school (your equivalent elementary school), did thought of going to art college, but scrap the idea and has been sketching on and off then.
Valerie-Jael,
Thank you! :)
Christine,
Thank you! :)
the static, the babble... yes.. high decibel reality and then the whisper!!
That "voice in the wind" is bittersweet. I usually hear it when a certain song comes on the radio. Then I shake my head and go on about my business.
I found myself listening closely. Kind of haunting.
You write lovely romantic poetry....I think it's your forte !
Rajani,
Thank you!
yes, i like how you look at it this way, after the noises, the whisper. :)
Debi,
Thank you!
Memories can be bittersweet, but it sometimes demands our attention. :)
Colleen,
Thank you!
"haunting", this word pops up at times from readers reading this poem. :)
Rall,
Thank you for the high compliment. :)
I like the rhythm of your poem. It does remind me of the wind.
Thank you, Su-sieee!
Glad it reminds you of that.
"But when the trees bow down their heads,
The wind is passing by."
-Christina Rossetti , Who Has Seen The Wind?
"the babble / and battle, without you, are not the same"
Interesting phrasing, but it works.
Thank you, Priscilla!
maybe it can be considered as internal rhymes. :)
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