Flight
After so many years, sometimes it's still hard to put down..
photo © by Lindenmann
image from visipix.com
Flight
gone
as if you
have taken flight
quietly left
not even a goodbye
in the night
left me with
just the air
i breathe
15 Nov 08
*********
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )
photo © by Lindenmann
image from visipix.com
Flight
gone
as if you
have taken flight
quietly left
not even a goodbye
in the night
left me with
just the air
i breathe
15 Nov 08
*********
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )
posted by dsnake1 at 1:31 AM
11 Comments:
I know...
I like the last three lines..
thank you, gautami!
i like the last 3 lines too. :)
melancholic....
You've skewered home the intensity of the emotion that parallels the magnitude of the loss (which is just a fancy way of saying how it truly hurts in the chest to read this, with its effective pauses emphasizing all the space... left).
Sniff.
magiceye,
thank you!
this is one of the poems i am satisfied with. hardly any editing. :)
S.L.
thank you, so this poem works!
sometimes, i write better when i am ultra calm, like the day i wrote this piece. the words were like out there ready to be plucked. :)
sub-consciously, the form of the poem takes shape. i wrote it in 3 short lines of 3 strophes, as in the state of a person gasping for breath.
i hope i am making sense here. :)
So simple and an appropriately abrupt end -- effectively communicates the sadness of the narrator.
You are brilliant like that, dsnake.
-Liz
:D
thank you, Liz!
how are you? i have been very busy with work lately, so i couldn't do as much blog visiting as i like. from what the bosses told us workers, the workload will be heavier as the months progress. ( think this is a good sign in these tough times?) :)
I think, if your boss tell you there's going to be more work, it means that you are not going to be without a job and thus a good thing. For me, I'm doing alright; work is as usual. I don't think the medical sector is much affected by this economic downturn.
On the writing front, still not much. Just reading a lot -- I recently picked up Beowulf (the version translated by Seamus Heaney which is excellent) and CK Williams poetry collection. Found a few nice poetry forums, but I don't have the time to really get into them yet.
- Liz
That's good, Liz, doing alright. :)
no, i don't think the medical sector will be much affected, but can't say that about the telcos.
i haven't been reading much lately,not much serious stuff anyway. have to make more trips to the bookshops & libraries. :)
Dear Dsnake,
Yes, I know... I wish it were different. That last stanza leaves me gasping for air.
:)
i think that this is one of the better poems i have written.
i guess i am a very lucky person, to have loved, and be loved.
Post a Comment
<< Home