Monday, January 12, 2009

Flight

After so many years, sometimes it's still hard to put down..

Flight
photo © by Lindenmann
image from visipix.com



Flight

gone
as if you
have taken flight

quietly left
not even a goodbye
in the night

left me with
just the air
i breathe


15 Nov 08
*********


© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know...

I like the last three lines..

12 January, 2009 23:17  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thank you, gautami!

i like the last 3 lines too. :)

13 January, 2009 00:03  
Blogger magiceye said...

melancholic....

14 January, 2009 15:48  
Blogger S.L. Corsua said...

You've skewered home the intensity of the emotion that parallels the magnitude of the loss (which is just a fancy way of saying how it truly hurts in the chest to read this, with its effective pauses emphasizing all the space... left).

Sniff.

14 January, 2009 19:40  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

magiceye,
thank you!

this is one of the poems i am satisfied with. hardly any editing. :)


S.L.
thank you, so this poem works!

sometimes, i write better when i am ultra calm, like the day i wrote this piece. the words were like out there ready to be plucked. :)
sub-consciously, the form of the poem takes shape. i wrote it in 3 short lines of 3 strophes, as in the state of a person gasping for breath.

i hope i am making sense here. :)

14 January, 2009 23:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So simple and an appropriately abrupt end -- effectively communicates the sadness of the narrator.

You are brilliant like that, dsnake.

-Liz

16 January, 2009 21:14  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

:D

thank you, Liz!

how are you? i have been very busy with work lately, so i couldn't do as much blog visiting as i like. from what the bosses told us workers, the workload will be heavier as the months progress. ( think this is a good sign in these tough times?) :)

16 January, 2009 23:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think, if your boss tell you there's going to be more work, it means that you are not going to be without a job and thus a good thing. For me, I'm doing alright; work is as usual. I don't think the medical sector is much affected by this economic downturn.

On the writing front, still not much. Just reading a lot -- I recently picked up Beowulf (the version translated by Seamus Heaney which is excellent) and CK Williams poetry collection. Found a few nice poetry forums, but I don't have the time to really get into them yet.


- Liz

17 January, 2009 07:07  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

That's good, Liz, doing alright. :)
no, i don't think the medical sector will be much affected, but can't say that about the telcos.

i haven't been reading much lately,not much serious stuff anyway. have to make more trips to the bookshops & libraries. :)

18 January, 2009 00:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Dsnake,
Yes, I know... I wish it were different. That last stanza leaves me gasping for air.

22 January, 2009 14:23  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

:)

i think that this is one of the better poems i have written.

i guess i am a very lucky person, to have loved, and be loved.

22 January, 2009 23:56  

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