a triolet : i thought i hear your voice in the wind
one of my few attempts at structured verse. Tried one of the easiest, the triolet.
The first 2 lines are taken from a refrain of a poem that i wrote some time back. I think it's rather sad, but lovely.
image by dsnake1
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
though i have grown old and tired and bitter
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
through all the years, the static, the babble
and battles, without you, are not the same
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
05.09.07
********
Not sure if line 3 should rhyme with line 4 and line 5, but i read somewhere that line 3 need not rhyme with line 4, but line 3 must rhyme with line 5. Maybe someone can help me? See, I am lost already.
mood of the day
The first 2 lines are taken from a refrain of a poem that i wrote some time back. I think it's rather sad, but lovely.
image by dsnake1
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
though i have grown old and tired and bitter
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
through all the years, the static, the babble
and battles, without you, are not the same
i thought i hear your voice in the wind
but it was just me whispering your name.
05.09.07
********
Not sure if line 3 should rhyme with line 4 and line 5, but i read somewhere that line 3 need not rhyme with line 4, but line 3 must rhyme with line 5. Maybe someone can help me? See, I am lost already.
mood of the day
posted by dsnake1 at 8:17 AM
10 Comments:
if you are lost then you are lost in a beautiful place :)
cheers
:)
then i will rather stay lost. :)
cheers!
There are a few names I keep whispering in the wind, but, unlike bread on water, they don't come back. Beautiful!!
thanks, pat.
some of us have memories that are hard to leave behind. :)
love it as it is....lovely!
thanks, magiceye!
What is poetry if not getting lost?
You did fine really!
I like the refrains!
gautami,
thank you!
"What is poetry if not getting lost?" : :D (grinz)
most of the time. :)
No idea how what the rules are. I don't know about you but I prefer to make up the structure as I write. I loved this one, it's sad but also bouncy leading to a light melancholic tone. Good stuff.
i am not too good with structured verse, maybe the discipline is not there. :)
i also like to make up the structure as i write. to me, the form of a poem is important. sets the mood for what i am writing at that time.
however, i will try the traditional forms (sonnets, villanelle,) once a while.
thanks, Ario!
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