Whispering Your Name
One hectic day at work, i went out of the office, to a quiet compound for a smoking break. A little peace alone, among the greenery, can calm the rage inside. This is the poem that resulted from that break. I guess it can be improved upon, but I think I will leave it as it is at the moment. Actually wanted to post in sgforums, but decided to put in the blog first.
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WHISPERING YOUR NAME
Taking a break from my computer screen
i leaned against a weather-beaten wall
and light up a puff.
Outside the chainlink fence
the vehicles at the busy road intersection
rushing headlong to clear another day.
Slivers of sunlight stabbed through
the lush canopy of the old rain trees
as a light breeze rustled silver leaves
i thought i heard your voice in the wind
but no, it was just me whispering your name.
Your name, your smiles, they came back
clear as daylight, how the cancerous cells
tore through your brain
the terrible pain soothed only by morphine
short hours comfortably numb
& then you left me
Thought i saw a rainbow
but no, it was just sunlight
bouncing off the lens of a tear
As a light breeze rustled silver leaves
i thought i heard your voice in the wind
but no, it was just me whispering your name.
31-12-03
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----------------
WHISPERING YOUR NAME
Taking a break from my computer screen
i leaned against a weather-beaten wall
and light up a puff.
Outside the chainlink fence
the vehicles at the busy road intersection
rushing headlong to clear another day.
Slivers of sunlight stabbed through
the lush canopy of the old rain trees
as a light breeze rustled silver leaves
i thought i heard your voice in the wind
but no, it was just me whispering your name.
Your name, your smiles, they came back
clear as daylight, how the cancerous cells
tore through your brain
the terrible pain soothed only by morphine
short hours comfortably numb
& then you left me
Thought i saw a rainbow
but no, it was just sunlight
bouncing off the lens of a tear
As a light breeze rustled silver leaves
i thought i heard your voice in the wind
but no, it was just me whispering your name.
31-12-03
---------------
posted by dsnake1 at 11:14 PM
10 Comments:
this is another example of beauty arising from pain and loss
i loved that brief refrain which served to make the piece memorable as well as echoing the fact that the memory is here to stay
thanks for this piece
(feel free to link - i'll do the same)
thanks, floots.
i love that brief refrain too. when i wrote the piece, those words just formed in the mind like pieces of a jigsaw coming together.
hi annie,
thanks for dropping by.
sometimes, pain or loss can make us write very touching poetry.
You've manage to write about something sad without falling into a pit of emotions, which is what tends to happen. The mood is grey and it feels like I'm watching a black and white film. Maybe it's the "chainlink fence" and "silver leaves", and the smoke from your cigeratte. I like the effect you created.
clarification:
>> which is what tends to happen
note that this is referring to most of the stuff I read on the internet, not to you.
film noir, wow!
liz, glad you like this piece.
what you said about "falling into a pit of emotions" is so true.
Liked this.
I see one of your favourite bands has an influence on this poem -
"comfortably numb" - heh. :)
gilbert, you listened to pink floyd too? great!
Heheh, our musical tastes are quite alike, I like U2, Dire Straits & Neil Young too.
gilbert, what a surprise!
what i like about these bands, aside from their music, are their thought-provoking lyrics. Most of their songs can be a great poem in their own right. And they dare to deal with social issues.
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