Friday, December 02, 2011

spectator

This was a poem which I wrote as an entry for the Moving Words poetry competition recently. It did not make it to the trains or the anthology of poems, so here it is.

I quite like this poem, though.. Sigh.


I am posting this for Thursday Poets Rally Week 57.



Evening sky with Helicopter
photo by terranovesca
image from morguefile.com




spectator



silently

the blackbirds hunch
like paper cut-outs
on the edges
of the rooftops
in the smoky haze
drifting in
from the landfills
watching
the last rays
of the sunset
battling the oncoming

night


08/04/10
********








© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ), 2011

Labels: , , ,

16 Comments:

Blogger Amropali said...

The silent spectator has been a prevalent theme in some of the books I've been reading of late.

This adds to the list, worthily so.

02 December, 2011 14:30  
Anonymous shail said...

The blackbirds hunch like paper cut-outs, loved that expression.
Your words paint a picture of the evening.

02 December, 2011 15:33  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

Amropali

such a coincidence! thanks for visiting, and i am glad you liked the poem. :)


shail,

thanks for visiting, and your comments. :)

02 December, 2011 22:40  
Anonymous The Orange Tree said...

stunning lines.
well done,

03 December, 2011 00:21  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Orange Tree! :)

03 December, 2011 07:22  
Blogger Heaven said...

hunched blackbirds in the sunset...a nice use of metaphor here ~

http://a-sweetlust.blogspot.com/2011/12/unmeasurable.html

03 December, 2011 22:39  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

thanks, Heaven!

yes, i was actually thinking about my days in the military when i wrote this.:)

03 December, 2011 23:24  
OpenID lynnaima said...

blackbirds and the night :) hmm I liked the fumes from the landfills imagery as well (smile)
enjoy the rally!

http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/12/03/unlike-bound/

04 December, 2011 11:26  
Blogger magiceye said...

this is wonderful!!

04 December, 2011 13:11  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

lynnaima,

thanks for visiting and leaving your comments.

the fumes from the landfills can be pretty bad. :)


magiceye,

thanks, my friend! :)

04 December, 2011 21:25  
Blogger ashok said...

good one...well written.

05 December, 2011 17:52  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

thank you, ashok!

05 December, 2011 21:28  
Blogger Suzy said...

great imagery - that did paint a picture. thanks for visiting my blog.

07 December, 2011 08:25  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

thank you, Suzy. :)

07 December, 2011 21:39  
OpenID zongrik said...

nice imagery

08 December, 2011 00:15  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thanks, zongrik!

08 December, 2011 20:28  

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