Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Pub Singer

The Pub Singer

image by dsnake1

I once wrote a poem about my R&R activities after a military exercise overseas. It was a long rambling piece, was never really completed.

Recently, I dug it out from some old notebook and had a good look at it again. It was bad, I thought. So I took parts of it, and rewrote them as standalone poems.

The following poem is the result of such work. It is almost unrecognizable from the original. I hope it's worth the effort.

* * * * * * * * *

The Pub Singer
unnamed pub, taipei, 1976

The pub was small, spartan,
the air heavy with cigarette smoke.
Everyone in the hall was just listening,
by that clear voice over the sound system.

The pub singer,
she was there, in the centre
of the stage,
lit up like a store display
under pools of pink
and orange lights.

She sat on a high stool
plucking away on a guitar,
plucking our heartstrings
as she sang of love and wanderings
and olive trees at home,
her oval face and
bob cut hair haloed in neon,
rounded hips tight in denim jeans.

i asked a waitress what was her name
she said girls like her are like
blooms from trees
and i thought
in my country
she would be a star.

* * * * * * *


Blogger Mr Wang Says So said...

*** applause applause applause***

Tune it up a little; throw in a few more accompanying poems that synergise; then send it in for Golden Point 2007.

11 March, 2006 10:40  
Blogger floots said...

"like blooms from trees" i like that

i love these memories/moments which somehow stay with us throughout our lives

i look forward to reading some more


11 March, 2006 17:34  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

mr. wang,
thanks for your encouragement! Now i will have to try to write another 5 or 6 poems that are of Golden Point standards! :)

somehow, these memories stay with us though the events happened a long time ago.

after a week of writer's block, i am now working on a few poems. watch out for them! :)

11 March, 2006 20:54  
Blogger Bluesky_Liz said...

Truly enjoyed it.

These poems of yours are like nostalgic photos one finds in the back of a old cupboard, taking us to that place in time (at the risk of sounding cliche but in this case, I think this fits how I feel about them best).

12 March, 2006 16:12  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thank you. It was from an old notebook (not the electronic type, it was paper and pencil).

Thinking of sending it to Tattoo Highway, i kinda like this poem. (maybe the lady singer)

12 March, 2006 17:06  
Blogger kittyn said...

nice!! "olive trees" brings to mind the song "Gan Lan Shu"....

only thing i find a little awkward with is the line break at the end of this line...

"she said girls like her are like"

13 March, 2006 16:14  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

yes! it works! I want people to think of that song when they read that line! :)

yah, you are right, i find that line a bit awkward too. maybe need to play with the line breaks..

13 March, 2006 21:17  
Blogger David E. Patton said...

A very good poem. You are good and was good then.

20 March, 2006 04:38  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thanks, david!

04 April, 2006 21:04  

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