Sunday, February 26, 2006

It's Cold Out There

It's Cold Out There

image by dsnake1

Recently, fellow blogger Bluesky_Liz wrote about a poetry workshop on Guardian Unlimited, hosted by poet Esther Morgan. It sounded interesting, as the theme was about ghosts.

I wrote a piece with the intention of submitting to the workshop. It would be a good experience if it can draw some comments. Unfortunately, i missed the deadline, and did not send it in.

I wrote this poem from the perspective of the ghost, what she (yes, a lady ghost) sees in the human world, and why she is still around.

So here it is, my hauntingly lovely (I hope!) poem...

* * * * * * * * * * *

It's cold out there

it's cold out there
even for a ghost like me
trapped in the realms
between the living
and the damned

i saw you wept
at my tombstone
your fingers brushing
the marble
as you once
brushes my hair

tonight i sat
by your bedside
the room lit faintly
by moonlight
the stars spoke
of different lifetimes

i was just looking at you
your eyelids fluttered
in fitful sleep
i wanted to touch you
to brush your hair
i'm afraid
it might startle you

because once
you called out my name
tried to stretch out
your hands to me
and then fear gripped you
like a vice
and you switched on
the lights

my touch is cold
my touch is icy cold

and yes
ghosts do cry
not the salty tears you shed
the air just wavered
like sea fog
a cold draft swirled
frosty breath
to every nook

find another woman
who will love you
brings back the warmth
to your life
and then i will

till then
i'm sorry, you shivered
even under the sheets
but i just can't help it
even divided by barriers
of space and time

i love you too much
i love you too much..




Blogger CP said...

It's great that you were able to put yourself in the place of a ghost. You've put into words something I have imagined before. missed your deadline, but sometimes the response you most crave is your own. I'd be proud if I wrote that! Are you?

26 February, 2006 12:16  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

welcome to blogging!
thanks for your comments, it makes writing this piece worth the time and effort. :)

26 February, 2006 12:30  
Blogger floots said...

well worth it!
there is something hauntingly (pun half-intentional) beautiful about the isolated helplessness of the ghost coupled with her feelings of love and protection
nice one

26 February, 2006 16:21  
Blogger lAzy pAnda said...

it's a beautiful poem... not the kind tat send shivers down my spine, but one tat is touching my heart... well done!!

it's a pity u missed the deadline tho', cos i'm sure u'll get many positive comments... :)

26 February, 2006 23:06  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

i like this piece too. it's the type of poem that after i wrote it, i was wondering how i thought it out in the first place..

lazy panda,
glad that you found it touching rather than scary. (it was intended to be touching)
hmmm, maybe i will try some dark ones that can send shivers down your back. watch out for it! :)

27 February, 2006 00:34  
Blogger Bluesky_Liz said...

Very haunting and touching and sad. You should consider doing something with it nonetheless. :)

(Watch the tenses, though, some of them are not agreeing.)

27 February, 2006 20:52  
Blogger kittyn said...

This piece is lovely.... touching... but i do agree with liz about your grammar though....

02 March, 2006 13:41  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

liz & kittyn,
thanks for pointing out the problem areas. time to get back to school! :)

shall i send this piece to one of the on-line journals?

02 March, 2006 21:19  
Blogger Bluesky_Liz said...

Yes you should. Do it up and send it out. I don't see why it should waste away on a blog. :)

03 March, 2006 06:35  
Blogger steve said...

lovely contrast - mostly cold and the warmth of the not-yet

03 March, 2006 20:32  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thanks for the encouragement. i think i might just do that, yeah.

04 March, 2006 00:34  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

hi steve,
thanks for dropping by! :)

04 March, 2006 00:36  

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