Sunday, March 03, 2013

fruits

I wrote this poem in response to a prompt a couple of years back. The site owner gave some useful comments on how to improve it.

I did a wee bit of revision on this piece (it's a poem on growing up). It is looking at things from a different angle. :)






photo by mensatic
image from morguefile.com


fruits



once, we picked wild fruits off trees,
our adolescent hearts neither feared heights nor ants,
or poisons, spitting out pits like bullets,
watching clouds in the blue sky morphing from warriors to bunnies.

today at the supermarket i am undecided,
we have fruits from Malaysia and China and Chile and
but is it cheaper elsewhere, will it mess with my gastritis?
the checkout queue is long, the faces are long, i will come back later.



written 12/12/2010
revised 28/02/2013
****************






This poem has only 8 lines, 4 in each stanza, but the formatting seems to mess it up. I have tried using a 'narrower' font here, hopes it displays better. :)



"Change is good. You go first."
-- Dilbert





Shared on Poetry Pantry #140 at Poets United.





© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2013

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16 Comments:

Blogger Brian Miller said...

nice...i wonder at the fruit in the market as well...what preserved it to get it here...while it is cool to taste the world...i wonder what else we are eating...

the only part that throws it a bit is the and and but together...

03 March, 2013 21:38  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thanks, Brian! there are certainly other things besides the fruit we are eating. :)

great on the feedback. the 'and' and 'but' together do sound awkward,i had wanted that 'and' to be a pause. maybe it's better to throw it out, or add in a few periods after the word. :)

03 March, 2013 22:36  
Blogger Mark M. Redfearn said...

Coming back later is usually always an option--especially for those of us who don't make hasty decisions!

Old Willow Woman

03 March, 2013 23:19  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

right, Mark, coming back later is always an option, as i am scared of long queues. :)

thanks for dropping by!

03 March, 2013 23:53  
Blogger anthonynorth said...

The magic has certainly gone out of fruit picking. Nice one.

04 March, 2013 01:09  
Blogger Libby Meador said...

Older and wiser is good, as long as it is not the supermarket variety.

04 March, 2013 02:11  
Blogger Mary said...

Oh, what fortunate childhood you had to be able to pick wild fruits right off trees! We had ONE apple tree when I was a kid, but the apples usually had worms. Sigh.

So true today we get fruits from all over. I notice you are in Singapore. (spent 3 days there once - beautiful) It is a law here that foods have to be labelled if they come from outside the US. There are some countries of origin I won't buy from.

Your comment about queues made me smile. Even if I THINK I am choosing the shortest one, so often it turns out to be the longest wait. Smiles.

04 March, 2013 03:55  
Blogger Kim Nelson said...

LOL! Sometimes coming back later is the smartest choice. Well done!

04 March, 2013 07:03  
Blogger Serena Helriot said...

I find the distinctly different perspectives pertaining to fruit a powerful way of expressing the differences in childhood to adulthood... especially the lack of fear and the wonder of childhood... morphing into the fear and concerns of adulthood...

04 March, 2013 08:09  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Anthony,

oh yes, it has. now, one can get fined for plucking fruits from trees. :)


Libby,

haha! :D


Mary,

a fortunate childhood indeed. where i was staying as a kid, there was a forested area near our village where we feasted on rambutans, mangoes, and a berry that was wickedly sweet.

i am from singapore, and the authorities here have very stringent rules regarding the import of food too (which i don't really mind unless i am the importer)

as for queues, i think most times, it's a hit and miss thing. :D


Kim,

glad that you agreed with my observation. i hate to waste my time in queues. :)


Serena,

I am glad you saw the theme of the poem, the evolution from childhood to adulthood. thanks for visiting. :)

04 March, 2013 22:42  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Displaying fine on my screen.

I too miss the wild fruis of childhood.

05 March, 2013 10:53  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

thanks, Rosemary. i think the narrower font helps. :)

05 March, 2013 19:45  
Blogger Ravenblack said...

Formatting on blogger can be a real pain.

I agree: we didn't care about dirt or bugs or whatever plucking fruits off trees. I had the luck of having experienced a bit of this, plucking guava off trees because I had a great grandma who still live in a kampong when I was kid.

Funny how you can have any fruit you want from anywhere in the world but there's a whole lot more to complain and fret about.

06 March, 2013 13:10  
Blogger dsnake1 said...


Liz, i think the problem is the lines of the poem are too long, and not suitable for that blogger theme i used. and i think blogger has really made improvements in the ease-of-use department. it used to be a pain formatting, especially shape poetry

so you have experienced life in a kampong too? another favourite pastime then was catching fighting spiders. i don't think you'd like that. :D

yeah, it's funny, the more choices we have the more complaints we make. :)

06 March, 2013 23:48  
Anonymous Ravenblack said...

You're right. I'm no fan of spiders. but I did like to catch ants and keep them in glass bottles filled with leaves. :)

07 March, 2013 12:35  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

:)

i didn't know people keep ants as pets. :D

07 March, 2013 21:53  

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