Sunday, April 08, 2018

get the cuffs off or throw away the key

Another one for the GPA2015. Depressing, I know, and a poor choice for a competition poem.



digital drawing by dsnake1 using Sketchpad



get the cuffs off or throw away the key


shadows
bend & creep

green moss clings
to walls
they
nutured by rains
phlegm & tears
they bend & creep

obstinate
silent

you do not even want to hear
what I wanted to say!

the walls
surrendering cracks
they bend & creep
you could hear their
sighs
if you try hard enough
the whitewash bleaching
leaching
sepia tongues
they bend & creep

grey dust crumble
on trembling fingers

the blackbirds gather in trees silent
even they did not want to quarrel

the air hangs dry
bleeding
crackling static

it

has been this way
for years

the taste on tongues still bitter
as
the
shadows
bend & creep


01/08/2013
**********






and I wonder if it takes being broken
open and emptied
to be filled with something new.

*

from “Thinking Like a Split Melon” by Jamaal May


This poem was inspired by the above lines from the Bibliomancy Oracle and an episode in a relationship. It can work in bitter ways.

And a song for the day : Daryl Hall & John Oates - Screaming Through December






© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2018


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16 Comments:

Anonymous Donna@LivingFromHappiness said...

That is quite a response to the quote....real, raw and emotional!

08 April, 2018 22:35  
Blogger Jae Rose said...

You raise a powerful and present question

08 April, 2018 23:28  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

Donna,

i think it is pretty emotional :)


Jae,

thank you.
it is about how to handle a difficult relationship. more questions than answers. :)

08 April, 2018 23:51  
Blogger Sherry Marr said...

The repeated bending and creeping is very effective, as are the blackbirds falling silent. You have imbued this poem with mood very effectively. I especially like the air, crackling and static.

09 April, 2018 00:08  
Blogger Sanaa Rizvi said...

Oh soo real and heart-wrenchingly beautiful!💜

09 April, 2018 02:44  
Blogger Myrna R. said...

I felt a sadness and defiance here. It left me thinking. Must reread.
Your digital painting is awesome.

09 April, 2018 03:44  
Blogger R.K. Garon said...

Wow! You have my 1st. prize : )
The repetition was perfect.
ZQ

09 April, 2018 06:28  
Blogger Robert Bourne said...

complications when there are more questions than answers.. a thoughtful write...

09 April, 2018 06:48  
Blogger Sarah Russell said...

I love the repetition in this and the sense of foreboding that it brings to the poem. Well done!

09 April, 2018 12:25  
Blogger Susan said...

I like thinking of the walls as a mirror image of the speaker. Good stuff.

09 April, 2018 13:10  
Anonymous dsnake1 said...

Sherry,

i was thinking, the repeated "bending and creeping" might introduce a sense of unease to the poem. :)


Sanaa,

thank you! :)


Myrna,

thank you! defiance, maybe and sadness, certainly. glad you liked the artwork. done with Sketchpad a free drawing app on the web. perhaps you can give it a try. :)


ZQ,

thank you for the prize! :)
you liked the repetition too!


Robert,

thank you! :)


Sarah,

thanks for the visit!
yes, a sense of foreboding, i was looking for that.


Susan,

yes, the speaker is aging very fast. :)
just to let you know i enjoyed reading your new poem 'The urgent Meeting' at your site.

09 April, 2018 14:48  
Blogger Mary said...

I really like the strong visuals!

10 April, 2018 00:32  
Blogger hyperCRYPTICal said...

I think the repetition very effective too.
(To me) your words speak of a long-ended relationship that the writer desperately wants to rekindle, trapped as he is in depression need (faint hope) and a certain kind of loneliness, where his world can be nothing but grey.
His lost love holds the strongest card and plays it still, adding to his misery, but giving him hope with her continued cruel attention. Your title tells all of her hold on him.
Anna :o]

10 April, 2018 02:20  
Anonymous Colleen Looseleaf said...

It works in the way of creeping and seeping under my skin. What a mood you have set.

10 April, 2018 02:37  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Googling GPA led me to a 2015 Convention on "international affairs, legislative and regulatory issues, safety, market information, operations and maintenance, technical sessions and research". Hmm, I thought, he has cut through the jargon to the nitty-gritty stuff. Then I saw the label, Golden Points Awards! In any case, a great nitty-gritty poem on both the anguish and tedium of long-term imprisonment.

10 April, 2018 10:01  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Mary,

thank you! :)


Anna,

thanks for the analysis of the poem. yes, the narrator is talking about a relationship gone toxic, and you are right about the title too. he wants to give up and let go but is reluctant to.
thank you for this fine comment. :)


Colleen,

thanks! i am glad the mood works. :)


Rosemary,

:D
sorry to send you around googling!
i am glad in this case, the reader sees the poem from a different perspective.

10 April, 2018 16:05  

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