the gods are watching over us in the morning
This poem tries to capture the sights and sounds of a morning in Bukit Merah.
photo by Jason Webber
image from morguefile.com
the gods are watching over us in the morning
in the half light that is the dawn over
the blocks of flats, when the night wind
gently slaps discarded papers and dead leaves
along the long expanse of corridor of our block,
i leave for work, my cigarette smoke mingling
with the perfumed incense my old neighbour lighted
to the God of Heaven, praying for safe passage
through the day for her and her loved ones.
then i walked past doors protected by talismans,
baguas, even cruxifixes, past homes guarded by waifs
of pomeranians that snarled from behind locked gates,
their barks, shrill and indignant, in the cool air,
go past flowerpots with plants badly in need
of watering, down the stairs through the coffeeshop,
through harsh fluorescent lights and whiffs of toast,
past grizzled old men drinking coffee from saucers,
then meet the hordes of sleepy-eyed children
sleepwalking to schools, the grandmothers
shuffling to the wet market to haggle over
fishes and vegetables.
the same gods are watching over us all.
revised 20.07.07
****************
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )
Labels: life, morning, Poetry, poetry competition
14 Comments:
really enjoyed this
for me it did just what you wanted
conveying the sights sounds and impressions of the place
thank you
thanks, floots.
so it works! :)
this brings to me the sights, sounds and smells of an early morning... nicely done!
(perhaps it would be better if you didn't use past tense in the third stanza)
polona,
thanks for pointing that out!
it's an old bad habit, inconsistent in tenses. :) they have a way of drifting off even though i have checked.
appreciate your comments. :)
MORE!!! I loved this! You described it so well, I felt as if I was with you. Makes me want to see more. Wonderful writing!
thanks, andrew!
that was supposed to be 1980's Singapore, but i think certain things have not changed much...:)
In the world we live in we need our Gods. Excellent poem!!
i guess we do, pat.
thank you!
Soulful as always :)
:D
more like grumpy and sleepy when you are up and running at 6+ a.m. in the morning. :)
I like this one a lot! It flows well, rich in imagery and sound. This is one of the best ones I've read of yours.
gel,
thank you!
i think it is one of my better poems too. :)
i wrote many drafts for this, but i finally settled on a form with long lines (i tend to use shorter lines).
like a long, tough day ahead. :)
I love this glimpse of your urban morning, especially the grandmothers shuffling to market and the sleepy children to school.
thanks, Sherry.
one of my personal favourites . :)
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