Expanding an idea
This is a poem that I wrote a very long time ago, and which I have posted very early on in this blog. In a way, it is another re-post, but it is more than that.
The reason I take a look again at this poem is because of the honest and insightful comments I received regarding this piece. And I am thankful for that.
Gilbert Koh, lawyer, poet and Golden Point Award 2005 winner in English poetry, nailed it when he commented that "The poem tries to capture a very heartlander part of Singapore life, but some of the language used was distinctly non-heartlander..." Gilbert went on to give a detailed and helpful analysis of the poem.
SilverMoon, a blogger artist and poet, also offered some helpful suggestions. Thank you, GEL (yes, that's what she is known as now)
I am not rewriting this work. Instead, I am writing several poems out of this piece. Expanding an idea, writing from the experiences I learned from living at that place. And yes, this batch of work will be my submissions for the GPA competition.
image enhanced by dsnake1
from a photo from imageafter.com
Jalan Bukit Merah
Panties on bamboo poles
like battle flags
Lifts eternally reeking
of urine and sweat
The dusty stairs are stained
with vomit of heroin
The graffiti on the walls
speaks for all.
Packs of young punks, with nothing to do, except
smoking, bragging and cursing their blues
"Shall we lay a girl or two, bum?"
"No joe, go home get your parang"
Some poor bastard gonna lose an arm or two.
1st Oct 1978
************
I am mindful that this poem does not give a true and exact picture of the place. It is a tough neighbourhood, but I do come across a lot of very nice and kind people there. Mostly, I have very fond memories of the place.
The reason I take a look again at this poem is because of the honest and insightful comments I received regarding this piece. And I am thankful for that.
Gilbert Koh, lawyer, poet and Golden Point Award 2005 winner in English poetry, nailed it when he commented that "The poem tries to capture a very heartlander part of Singapore life, but some of the language used was distinctly non-heartlander..." Gilbert went on to give a detailed and helpful analysis of the poem.
SilverMoon, a blogger artist and poet, also offered some helpful suggestions. Thank you, GEL (yes, that's what she is known as now)
I am not rewriting this work. Instead, I am writing several poems out of this piece. Expanding an idea, writing from the experiences I learned from living at that place. And yes, this batch of work will be my submissions for the GPA competition.
image enhanced by dsnake1
from a photo from imageafter.com
Jalan Bukit Merah
Panties on bamboo poles
like battle flags
Lifts eternally reeking
of urine and sweat
The dusty stairs are stained
with vomit of heroin
The graffiti on the walls
speaks for all.
Packs of young punks, with nothing to do, except
smoking, bragging and cursing their blues
"Shall we lay a girl or two, bum?"
"No joe, go home get your parang"
Some poor bastard gonna lose an arm or two.
1st Oct 1978
************
I am mindful that this poem does not give a true and exact picture of the place. It is a tough neighbourhood, but I do come across a lot of very nice and kind people there. Mostly, I have very fond memories of the place.
Labels: heartlands, Poetry
posted by dsnake1 at 7:57 PM
12 Comments:
this definitely has potential.
wish you luck with your submissions :)
I like the raw language, makes the poem even more immediate and real, this is probably a conversation overheard in the void decks....ks
a real sense of rough tough urban life
cheers
I've always had a more romantic view of panties. Eaw is the only way to express the reality of this poem.
polona,
thank you!
i am still struggling with some of the poems. :)
hey Kianseng!
Long time no see! (conversation in the void decks!)
cheers!
floots,
thank you!
pat,
:D
You won't believe it but it speaks out for certain parts of Delhi too, maybe Mumbai...
I wish all the luck in the world..:)
Thank you, Gautami, for your encouragement. :)
i guess all big cities have some rotten parts... :)
very powerful! reality...
wow very powerful!
andrew,
thank you.:)
magiceye,
thanks!
like gautami, i find this scene in parts of manila too. wonderful work indeed. looking forward to the series you will make on this. a picture perfect piece, that captures not only the scene but the underlying stories within. good luck on the competition
rax,
appreciate your kind words, thanks! :)
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