cenotaph
It is also an exercise in writing a Tetractys poem.
cenotaph
once
it was
and still is
a monument
to the brave fallen of the two great wars.
we used to sit on its cold granite steps
just the night sky
the stars and
only
us.
and
heroes
die, she too.
left me alone
to talk to the dead of the two great wars.
01/Oct/10
********"
"How I wish, how I wish you were here."
-- Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here
This is for Poetry Pantry Week #126.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ), 2012
Labels: loss, lovesongs, Poetic forms, Poetry, Poets United, war
10 Comments:
love the concision and restraint in this poem - has a real stillness about it which really reflects the mood of the subject. Great write.
Your choice of form greatly enhances the spare atmosphere and the loss conveyed in the poem's words. Well done!
This is beautiful!
I enjoyed the form of this poem...and yes, the dead of two great wars would, I am sure, have much to talk about.
I have stood at Flander's Field. This piece evokes an equal emotional response. Death. Love. Loss. Brilliant.
To talk to the dead of the two great wars -- and her too?
makes me think of visiting arlington...and sadly far too many heroes die...the turn with she too...is very effective...
thecheesewolf,
thank you! the stillness you mentioned about, i think it too reflects my mood when i wrote this piece. :)
WabiSabi,
yes, i think the choice of form helps in this case. sparse words and empty spaces do convey a sense of stillness and calm. thank you for your comment. :)
Audrey,
Thank you! :)
Mary,
:)
thank you! looks like the form works well in this case.
Kim,
Flanders Field. wow, it must have been an awe-inspiring, and at the same time, overwhelming moment. thanks for stopping by. :)
Libby,
oh yes, and her too. :)
Brian,
too few people remember the ultimate sacrifice some gave so that we all can live safely. i was also writing about a personal loss.
thank you, my friend.
I love that Pink Floyd song.One of my favourites.Good choice to enhance the feeling of personal loss.
thank you, Cressida. the use of that quote was for this intention. :)
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