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I wrote this in response to comments and suggestions on my poem, "spectator", given by a poet friend. I had a re-look and see if I can edit it, or improve on it. The result is somewhat different from the original, but both are inspired by quieter moments while serving in the military.





photo by dsnake1




home




what can be seen then
when we have returned
our arms for the night
our backs against
the weathered boards
of our barracks
as we slowly savoured
every wisp of
cigarette smoke
(and some had more
than just tobacco)
our fatigues unbuttoned
boots unlaced,
removed
as we flicked butts
towards the perimeter fence
towards the concertina
razors
that are protecting us
keeping us in

what can be seen then
an evening sky
blushing red
the colour of
muzzle flashes
red tracers
clouds stretched thin
like oily gunsmoke
and a scimitar moon
unsheathing
and then
through the thousands
of kilometres

the faces of
girl friends
wives
& children
waiting
for their daddies
to return

home.



23/09/2012
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I am posting this for Poets Rally Week 73 at Hyde Park Poetry.

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©cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2011