Rust
The theme or phrase in Haikuworld's April 2008 kukai in the Free Format Section was "Rust". Again, I thought it was easy stuff...
Well, 4 points for the effort, and also a comment from a reader : "I really liked the combination of looking back _and_ moving on." Thank you for the comment. :)
Personally, I quite like the haiku too.
image from imageafter.com
Rust
missing dad.
sandpapering rust
off his old tool box.
and here is one that was not submitted :
rusted hulk of bike
abandoned at side of road.
journey's end.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )
Well, 4 points for the effort, and also a comment from a reader : "I really liked the combination of looking back _and_ moving on." Thank you for the comment. :)
Personally, I quite like the haiku too.
image from imageafter.com
Rust
missing dad.
sandpapering rust
off his old tool box.
and here is one that was not submitted :
rusted hulk of bike
abandoned at side of road.
journey's end.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )
Labels: haiku, Remembrance
posted by dsnake1 at 12:10 AM
11 Comments:
i like both... but i think you submitted the right one.
(i failed to participate again)
I like them both! :)
polona,
i thought i submitted the right one too, and the other one was not too bad either. :)
submissions for next kukai are out. i may try again.
andrew,
thank you. :)
love them both!
magiceye,
thank you, thank you.:)
You can't know how the first one has affected me. I still use my dad's rusted tool box.
gautami,
that's good, if the tool box is still usable, why not? i am sure it can bring back fond memories of your dad.
Long time no see and all that! Just wanted to say I loved the starkness of the emotional imagery here. They both work very well methinks!
Ario,
long time no see too. :)
i am glad you enjoyed both haikus.
I enjoyed both of these, the way they hold time and memory.
deborah,
thank you!
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