February kukai : Night Life
The theme or phrase in Haikuworld's February 2008 kukai in the Free Format Section was "Night Life". I sent in an entry and I managed a total of... 1 point.
I thought writing about night life was a piece of cake... :)
image by dsnake1
Night Life
neon lit pavement
click of stiletto heels
on hard concrete
And here's another three that I wrote but didn't submit.
i.
early morning rain.
traffic lights flickered
at empty road junction.
ii.
moon veiled by clouds
bats fluttered down from viaducts
looking for fruits.
iii.
last night bus
pulls out of terminus.
i try to catch some sleep.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )
I thought writing about night life was a piece of cake... :)
image by dsnake1
Night Life
neon lit pavement
click of stiletto heels
on hard concrete
And here's another three that I wrote but didn't submit.
i.
early morning rain.
traffic lights flickered
at empty road junction.
ii.
moon veiled by clouds
bats fluttered down from viaducts
looking for fruits.
iii.
last night bus
pulls out of terminus.
i try to catch some sleep.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 )
posted by dsnake1 at 12:15 AM
13 Comments:
I like your kukai. Those who don't are well..what do they know, anyway?!
Congrats for the award. You deserve it!
thank you, gautami. :)
i take the kukai as some fun writing, no problem with the points. (or no points). anyway, i think my haikus are only so-so. :)
i didn't submit to the kukai this time (in fact, for quite a long time) but i like the haiku you submitted. it conveys the image for me and makes me wonder about the woman and her whereabouts...
last night bus
pulls out of terminus.
i try to catch some sleep.
I like this one the best.
loved all of them!
polona,
thank you. :)
i am also submitting irregularly.
anyway, there was a typo of the haiku on the website.
the "of" in "click of stiletto heels" was published as "on", and maybe this changes the meaning of the haiku.
but no, i am not going to protest about this. :)
i think i did well with this haiku. that's what i wanted to convey, to let the reader guess about the lady. :)
andrew,
thank you.
maybe i should have submitted this one instead. :)
hey magiceye,
thanks!
I think this stirkes an immediate thought, or feeling. Makes my eyeballs itchy.
the night life haiku's were goood! i could see myself walking in a pair of stiletto heels breaking an ankle trying to keep my balance on the hard concrete.
oh Pat!
:D
(the words or the picture?)
hi iiamgyne,
thank you. :)
it works for me
i can hear those heels
feel those nights :)
cheers
:)
Cheers, floots!
I loved the one you submitted ..Keep them coming
Nasra
:)
Nasra, thank you!
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