Sunday, February 28, 2016

poetry lesson #1

Pause for a moment and think of what could have been...




photo by pippalou
image from morguefile.com





poetry lesson #1




why do you leave
spaces
in your poetry

       like    this?

so that one day
she may
be back

and those

     sp aces

won't be filled
with emptiness

anymore.



09/04/2015
**********


yeah, been sitting in my notebook/pc for some time. thought it was too personal, but hey...







Fill in the _ _ _ _ _ _. Find a pencil!



Shared on Poetry Pantry #291 at Poets United.





© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2016

Labels: , , ,

17 Comments:

Blogger Sanaa Rizvi said...

Whoaaa this is deep!! Love it :D

29 February, 2016 01:12  
Blogger Mary said...

Oh this is good!! I love the idea of leaving spaces in a poem for someone else to fill. Really kind of sad to think about...but perhaps it gives a sense of hope. And we all need hope to fill the spaces in our lives. Good to see you each week.

29 February, 2016 03:00  
Blogger Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is absolutely wonderful....I do hope those spaces will be filled back up again. But, for now, they work really well!

29 February, 2016 03:31  
Blogger brudberg said...

I think in poetry it's so often the pauses, and what's never said that speaks the most... great thoughts.... and even if it's personal it applies to many of us.

29 February, 2016 03:44  
Blogger Myrna R. said...

Poetry is best when it's personal. I felt sad reading this.

29 February, 2016 03:57  
Blogger C.C. said...

Oooh....this packs a punch. So heartfelt.

29 February, 2016 08:27  
Blogger Susan said...

Clever and moving!

29 February, 2016 10:18  
Blogger Sumana Roy said...

i like the yearning and hope...

29 February, 2016 14:21  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

No, it's universal! (And I love it.)

29 February, 2016 15:12  
Blogger Jae Rose said...

Never too personal - i think many could empathise..words bridge the gap between lonely and being - if we cannot have love or kindness we can always write it for ourselves.....

29 February, 2016 20:57  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Sanaa,

thank you!! :)


Mary,

it was meant to reflect on some of the gaps in our lives. it does give a sense of hope in a way.

technically, i like spaces and line breaks in a poem. it can somehow impact a poem, either by enhancing a mood or its visual attractiveness. thus the title!!

thank you so much. :)


Sherry,

ah yes, they are being filled up, albeit by different persons. :)


Bjorn,

i love this comment, about "the pauses and what's never said that speaks the most". i, and i think most poets too, subscribe to this opinion. especially in haiku, when you have so much less words to use. :)


Myrna,

thank you! i subscribe to this too, about poetry is best when it's personal, but many readers may disagree with me. :)

Yes, this poem is partly about loss too.


C.C.

thank you! :)


Susan,

thanks!! :)


Sumana,

"yearning and hope", ah yes! :)


Rosemary,

if you are referring to personal or confessional poetry, i think it's not that quite universal. most are still quite reluctant to write about themselves or their experiences. i really admire those that have come out to write about still taboo subjects, like sexuality, mental illness, suicide or their stance on war and politics.

did i veer off badly on a tangent? :D



29 February, 2016 21:26  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Jae,

really love your comment!
yes, we can always write it for ourselves. at least we will feel so much better..

29 February, 2016 21:40  
Blogger R.K. Garon said...

You poor bastard :)haha (sorry not really funny)

The style, the backdrop, and the theme, I believe, was perfectly placed (spaced:)I like this piece and its risks ...I do hope you're feeling alright and the spaces fill and unfill with the same creative sensitivity :)
ZQ

02 March, 2016 05:43  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

hey, this is a lesson on style!
nay, it's actually on something else but you know me.. :)
always great to see you, my friend!

02 March, 2016 07:17  
Blogger A Cuban In London said...

This was so beautiful. Thanks.

Greetings from London.

03 March, 2016 07:05  
Blogger Magaly Guerrero said...

Delicious! The structure, the topic, the tone... It reads like guided meditation.

03 March, 2016 12:12  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Cubano,

thank you! :)


Magaly,

namaste! *bows*

03 March, 2016 20:48  

Post a Comment

<< Home