my mother and the moon
Over at The Poetry Pantry, the call was to write a work about mothers. I wanted to post this on Mother's Day, but I was totally zonked out after a day's work. (yes, I do work on Sundays).
Initially, I wrote something gritty and grim. Perhaps it was not too appropriate for the occasion. Then I wrote this. But I am really not too satisfied with it, it's kind of long and naggy. Maybe I will do some editing to it one day. :)
photo by semiross
image from morguefile
my mother and the moon
Mother, whenever I see a full moon, I would be reminded of you. You see, you were like the light on a dark night that guided me. You were the Weaver and Dad, the Cowherd, as you so lovingly told us, your children, those folk tales, about the moon and humans and gods and deities. But what I remembered most was, you prayed to the moon. Yes, mother, you prayed to the moon! On every Mid-Autumn's night, you filled a tray with fruits, three cups of tea, bowls of jelly, moon cakes, areca nuts and betel leaves, a box of rouge and a bottle of florida water. These you offered to the Moon Goddess, after you have lighted the candles and joss sticks, to pray for health and safety for the family.
"But mother, the Americans have landed on the moon!", I would say, and she would silence me and beg forgiveness from the goddess for this ignorant son. It has been years since I last eaten those jellies, mother, how I wish I could eat those jellies that you made on Mid-Autumn's day again. They were delicious and sweet. But now, you are up there with the moon too, among the stars, and as I gaze up at the night skies, I missed you, your wisdom, though you did not attend school, your compassion, your faith in us, and I thank you, knowing you will guide us on in the darkest nights.
12/05/2013
**********
Shared on Poetry Pantry at Poets United.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2013
Initially, I wrote something gritty and grim. Perhaps it was not too appropriate for the occasion. Then I wrote this. But I am really not too satisfied with it, it's kind of long and naggy. Maybe I will do some editing to it one day. :)
photo by semiross
image from morguefile
my mother and the moon
Mother, whenever I see a full moon, I would be reminded of you. You see, you were like the light on a dark night that guided me. You were the Weaver and Dad, the Cowherd, as you so lovingly told us, your children, those folk tales, about the moon and humans and gods and deities. But what I remembered most was, you prayed to the moon. Yes, mother, you prayed to the moon! On every Mid-Autumn's night, you filled a tray with fruits, three cups of tea, bowls of jelly, moon cakes, areca nuts and betel leaves, a box of rouge and a bottle of florida water. These you offered to the Moon Goddess, after you have lighted the candles and joss sticks, to pray for health and safety for the family.
"But mother, the Americans have landed on the moon!", I would say, and she would silence me and beg forgiveness from the goddess for this ignorant son. It has been years since I last eaten those jellies, mother, how I wish I could eat those jellies that you made on Mid-Autumn's day again. They were delicious and sweet. But now, you are up there with the moon too, among the stars, and as I gaze up at the night skies, I missed you, your wisdom, though you did not attend school, your compassion, your faith in us, and I thank you, knowing you will guide us on in the darkest nights.
12/05/2013
**********
Shared on Poetry Pantry at Poets United.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2013
posted by dsnake1 at 11:32 PM
11 Comments:
A wonderful tribute. Beautiful.
i hear you on cutting it up...you have some good elements that i think you could break apart and write several effective poems...i can relate to her enamor of the moon....i think the jellies bit could make for a cool poem...
What a beautiful story!
This is so moving and beautiful. I love the thought of your mom among the moon and stars.......and how you wish you could taste the jellies once more. You wrote this so well.
I love these heartfelt feelings, so nicely expressed.
Personally, I love it, and don't find it too long (and don't know what you mean by 'naggy' in this context).
It's a beautiful reminiscence — and I so like that your mother honoured the Moon Goddess. (So do I.)
My own reminiscence is a long one too:
http://passionatecrone.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/remembrance.html
Anthony,
Thank you! :)
Brian,
I am partial towards shorter verses. (maybe i have a short attention span). yes, your suggestion is certainly helpful. it can be broken up into smaller poems. haiku? :)
Lisa,
thank you so much! :)
Sherry,
thank you!
i have tried making the jellies myself, but it never come close to what my mother made. :)
McGuffy Ann,
thanks for the visit. :)
Rosemary.
It has been some time since i write a prose poem. i tend to stick to free verse or shorter verses. maybe "naggy" is a wrong choice of word, "rambling" may be more appropriate. i do not want the reader to think that i am giving a lecture. :)
in our culture, the women used to honour the moon. But nowadays, it's getting rare.
I think it could be broken up. It loses some of its essence in the length. Lovely tribute to your Mum.
thank you, rallentanda!
it's a suggestion worth considering. let's see if i can come up with something. :)
This is a beautiful tribute, there is so much character in your writing I can clearly visualize the memories you have shared
thank you, mindlovemisery!
those are rather fond memories. :)
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