and all i see are wet petals on asphalt
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
Not shaking the grass"
-- Ezra Pound
Osaka, Japan, at night
photo by dsnake1
and all i see are wet petals on asphalt
the train doors close
like a breath exhaling
and i slip out of the station
to an empty street
a cold wind blowing
and a long way from home
01/01/2020
**********
* “Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…”
"It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake. *
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
Shared on Writers' Pantry #1 at Poets and Storytellers United.
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2020
20 Comments:
Lovely quotes, and a perfect photo for this piece ... and above all the poem itself perfectly captures that bleak mood partly evoked by the weather and surroundings, and partly by being away from home. (I like the Poundian reference in the title too.)
I can almost feel that cold wind. Today on the bech it was sunny but there was a strong cold wind and the waves were big. It is always lovely to read you, Lee San.
I can feel your poem as if I were there. It sparked memories of late nights after work, getting off the train, too tired to wait for a connecting bus, and just walking home.
And that exhale sound the doors make is such a perfect detail.
Rosemary,
yes, my poem sort of 'continues' from Pound's poem, and glad you saw the Poundian reference in the title. :)
i admit it is a bit bleak for a first post of the year, but that night in Osaka was really wet and cold. glad you like the picture too, there was a lot of neon and advertising there.
Sherry,
i would really like to visit Tofino.
Magaly,
Thank you.
i am glad the mood of the poem works. :)
I like it a lot, too, and -- unless I miss my guess -- Ezra would probably applaud as well.
😁
thank you, Ron!
Your quotes and the piece you wrote really work beautifully together. All the little details add to the feeling of isolation.
How very atmospheric! I can remember from years ago that exact feeling leaving a railway station at dusk and not knowing which way to go.
This is incredibly evocative! I could feel every word!
Unknown,
thank you for your comment. 😊
perhaps you would like to share some of your works at 'Poets and Storytellers United'?
Robin,
😁
more so if you are in a foreign country.
Sanaa,
thank you! 😊
A truly evocative write - you took me there with you.
Lovely.
Anna :o]
Tres belle.
I love the poem and the quotes. There are layers and textures. The speaker is exhaled by the train and I wonder if the train itself is sighing the way it feels like the speaker must also be in the emptiness and cold, so far from home. And if the speaker is indeed sighing, I wonder what psychological passengers he is exhaling. You have well conveyed the heaviness of loneliness.
Anna,
thank you! :)
Regine,
thank you! :)
H,
i am glad the reader can feel the loneliness. :)
Nicely written
thank you, Ashok!
glad to see you. :)
Gorgeous piece. Thanks. :-)
Thank you, Cuban! :)
This is wonderful!
thank you, magiceye! :)
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