mother (it's about not giving up)
I cannot forget the day I lost my mother. I was in the ambulance with her, holding her hand, and all I was feeling was just helplessness...
photo by arvydas
image from morguefile
mother (it's about not giving up)
mother,
there is pain
in your eyes
hold my hands
hold me tight
outside this
ambulance
in the
rain drenched
streets
the heartlands
the city
a world going
about
its living
which you are
leaving
the pathetic wail
of the sirens
drowned out
by the babel
of the evening
rush hour
the wipers groaning
on windscreens
tail-lights red
in the rain
make way you bastards
my mother is dying
i could not
look at her
lest she sees
the tears welling
the fear
in my eyes
my mother is dying
and yet all
i am thinking
are the numerals
stenciled on
the oxygen tank
and all the while
the night
is still raining,
the rain drops
splattering
scattering
on the windows
the air in the cabin
suddenly
very cold
and still
she was
holding on
fighting
while i
all weak
was about to
give up.
written 10.05.2013
revised 09.03.2014
******************
“You don't know who is important to you until you actually lose them.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
©cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2015
photo by arvydas
image from morguefile
mother (it's about not giving up)
mother,
there is pain
in your eyes
hold my hands
hold me tight
outside this
ambulance
in the
rain drenched
streets
the heartlands
the city
a world going
about
its living
which you are
leaving
the pathetic wail
of the sirens
drowned out
by the babel
of the evening
rush hour
the wipers groaning
on windscreens
tail-lights red
in the rain
make way you bastards
my mother is dying
i could not
look at her
lest she sees
the tears welling
the fear
in my eyes
my mother is dying
and yet all
i am thinking
are the numerals
stenciled on
the oxygen tank
and all the while
the night
is still raining,
the rain drops
splattering
scattering
on the windows
the air in the cabin
suddenly
very cold
and still
she was
holding on
fighting
while i
all weak
was about to
give up.
written 10.05.2013
revised 09.03.2014
******************
“You don't know who is important to you until you actually lose them.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
©cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2015
Labels: life, loss, lovesongs, memories, mother, Poetry, rain
posted by dsnake1 at 10:21 PM
20 Comments:
Beautifully written...very moving.
sadness overcome joy when you skip down the road , only pause at times.
thotpurge,
thank you! :)
Rachel,
thanks for visiting! :)
The detail of the numeral of the oxygen tank made it so much more human... no guilt in having to focus on such a detail at a trying moment.. a very moving piece.
Brought tears to my eyes.. deeply sorry for your loss. Wish you patience and perseverance.
Well penned.
A powerful write, my friend. It reminds me of the night my mother died, walking out of the hospital into a world that no longer had her in it. How strange it felt. Your mother tried hard to stay for you........lovely that you were there holding her hand at such a time.
so beautiful, hits your right in the gut.
lovely work, thanks for sharing.
Oh, man. This is heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing such a painful memory, so beautifully.
Yes, peace at last for us all. Well written.
ZQ
It is the most heartfelt grief when we are on the verge of losing a parent....someone who means so much to us. I am dealing with my mother's failing health and I am frozen in my fear many days.....very moving.
I was with my mother as she died - in a nursing hime bed, not an ambulance. Still it was the most confronting experience of my life, for which I was awkward and unprepared.
An amazing poem really. You captured the painfulness of your experience in a very poignant way. I was especially struck by the part where you said she was still fighting and you were about to give up. Poems like this one make me realize why I enjoy my 'job' at Poets United. Thanks for sharing this very personal experience with us.
what a moving and truly visceral poem.
sad,
bless you,
very moving imagery.
Bjorn,
yes, i find it a strange action to do. maybe my mind just "jammed" at that time, or i was in denial.
Sanaa,
that happened more than 15 years ago, so yeah, i am okay now. yesterday happened to be her death anniversary and i thought i would post it.
Sherry,
it's a strange feeling, it goes beyond grief. even relief, that she suffers no more.
Stacy,
thank you!
De,
thanks for visiting.
ZQ,
in a way, yes. peace at last for all.
Donna,
mothers are always special people. it means so much for us. the thought of losing them holds much fear itself.
thanks for your comment!
Rosemary,
because we do not want it to happen, i guess we are always unprepared for this.
Mary,
thanks for the thoughtful comment.
i think she was fighting hard to have a last look at my sisters. but it was not to be. i was just feeling utterly useless.
Toni,
thanks for the visit!
Benji,
thank you!
The world can feel so very loud and heartless in these sacred moments that change our lives forever..i think focusing on those small details..the numerals are an admirable way to cope..a powerful and touching poem..and we must always try to never give up
Oh, it's so heartbreaking...all this babel at the bg. while the last min. of life...and helplessness...hugs
Jae,
you nailed that moment and feelings perfectly with your words. yes, the world can feel so heartless & cold at such moments.
really appreciate your comments. :)
humbird,
thanks for the hugs. :)
You took me there with you, into the moment you may relive again and again. What a ride. The rain, at least, was sympathetic, while neither the loud world nor you could prevent her leaving. Lots of hugs. Thank you for depicting this sacred moment in a breathless poem for us.
yes, i may relive that moment again and again, because i know i could not do anything to prevent her from leaving. sometimes, it seems, even the heavens cry on such moments.
thank you Susan, for your comments.
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