Sunday, August 07, 2016

old graffiti

This is from my 2009 NaPoWriMo archives.

When I was younger, I used to write down my thoughts on paper with a pencil, in bound journals and ring notebooks. Most were just rants and doggerel. Much was thrown away. Maybe I shouldn't have. There were some decent and very good poetry (i think), like those in the period just after my military service, that were lost when I moved from place to place. My heart still aches when I think about it. :(




photo by dsnake1




old graffiti




it was just
rows of
faded pencil marks
on a yellowed page

scratched in a naive hand
brash but unsure
small steps
like a baby's

searching
for words
for that
great poem

even the strokes
were angry
the mood
probably too

but the elusive
creatures,the words
stayed hidden
buried

and that was why
that poem
never met
the light

of day


09/04/2009
**********






“Sometimes things become possible if we want them bad enough.”

T.S. Eliot



Shared on Poetry Pantry #314 at Poets United.





© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2016

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16 Comments:

Blogger scotthastiepoet said...

Hiya, You and the great man are both right!! I enjoyed this and could relate to it and its context so easily,of course... Greetings to you on this sunny Sunday.. Wit Best Wishes Scott

08 August, 2016 00:52  
Blogger Sherry Blue Sky said...

It is hard to think of our work being lost. We don't realize it's value when we are young. But your poems now are finding life and voice, and that is a good thing.

08 August, 2016 02:11  
Blogger Jae Rose said...

But now it has - most wonderfully - i can relate to the feeling of loss - throwing away old journals seems like cleansing at times and yet it is one thing we can't get back in its original form..maybe that is sometimes good..others it leaves a gap - and yet perhaps those first steps are still in the words we write now and will write tomorrow

08 August, 2016 03:36  
Blogger Julian said...

searching for words for that great poem. How often does this happen? loads.
sad to think that poem never met the light of day. such a shame to loose your work, these poems we write are journals of our thoughts

08 August, 2016 04:07  
Blogger Julian said...

such a shame to loose your work, these poems are journals of our thoughts. I enjoyed reading this piece.

08 August, 2016 04:09  
Blogger Susan said...

Better late than never. And some say what lasts is the most important. Reading this, I thought of the baby learning to walk--how without that fumbling, the graceful dancing and running might not have been.

08 August, 2016 05:16  
Blogger Mary said...

Oh yes, sometimes those words stay hidden. There is nothing one can do to get them to appear.

08 August, 2016 09:35  
Blogger Sumana Roy said...

"...the elusive / creatures,the words" they truly are! how unfortunate that they never saw the day light! they could take rebirth you know & surely dazzle but they are like Life itself sigh...

08 August, 2016 10:45  
Blogger Old Egg said...

It is still worth keeping those that are left to see how your mind has worked since then to convey your thoughts poetically. Wish I had a few of my old writing.

08 August, 2016 14:53  
Blogger Luk Lei said...

So very true, especially when looking back at our more sensitive and perhaps angst ridden selves (personal commentary lol). At least you had the foresight to write your ideas down in youth, even they are lost at least they once were. I could never find the patience to do that when I was younger and kept all mine locked in my head for far to long.

08 August, 2016 15:30  
Blogger Sanaa Rizvi said...

This is oh so tender and endearing.. our scribbles from childhood are perhaps the most precious :D Beautifully penned.

Lots of love,
Sanaa

08 August, 2016 16:24  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

Scott,

thank you!
compared to the great man, i am so insignificant! :)


Sherry,

thank you.
the folly of youth, hey? :)
yes, i think i am writing much better now, and finding a voice that is, well, almost my own voice, but sometimes it is still as crybaby and angry as before.


Jae,

yes, throwing away seems like cleansing at times, but the gaps in the periods can't be bridged anymore. to try to find back the old poems that i have written is like staring at an abyss and trying to find a light.
maybe it's a good thing, it forces me to dredge back the memories and rewrite, and to write it better. :)


Julian,

we poets are always optimistic people aren't we? we are always writing that greatest poem. :)
i should be more careful with my books when i move house.


Susan,

yes, better late and never. and like wine, it gets better with age?
i like to compare my early writing like a baby's steps. it's a learning experience. and it gets better with practice. but of course to write, one must read (lots). :)


Mary,

ah, most writers will know. they just refuse to show their faces (or alphabets). :)


Sumana,

thanks! i would like to think that what we have written sometimes do mirror what we have gone through life itself. :)


Robin,

you too?
it's definitely good to see what we have written when we were younger, and compare them with what we are writing now. :)


Luk Lei,

yes, what i have written in my younger days were angst ridden and sensitive, but it is still a development of my writing journey, and if those scribbles are still around, it is a good gauge of how my writing has evolved. but yeah, it is still better to write, than not written, even if the works are lost. :)


Sanaa,

now i think they are precious too. :(

08 August, 2016 22:08  
Blogger R.K. Garon said...

Good Day to you Sir:
Yes...songs, plays, journals handwritten... gone
But, what the hell :)
ZQ

09 August, 2016 00:02  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

now i am a songwriter and playwright too? :D
thank you, my friend!

09 August, 2016 08:06  
Blogger Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Such a poignant nostalgia. And yet, no use repining. We must create our art now. :)

09 August, 2016 13:28  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

like they said, no use crying over spilled milk?
i do agree with you, we must create our art now. :)

09 August, 2016 23:55  

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