how deep is
I wrote this poem for the recently concluded NaPoWriMo. It is a poem about loss and how the narrator is coping (or not coping) with it.
I am posting this for the Poetry Pantry -#105 at Poets United.
photo by ximenez
image from morguefile.com
how deep is
how deep is
your love?
down in the
subway tunnels
on late nights
some nights
aimless rides
the tunnel walls
just inches
from my face
flashing by
our lives
on a reel
of memory
sliding
till it all ends
on a bleak night
and i am
all alone
in the
rumbling wombs
of the trains
that song
playing again
on the tracks
how deep is
your love?
till i resurface
to the neon
drenched streets
to the city lights
starlight
21/04/2012
revised 10/07/2012
**********
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2012
I am posting this for the Poetry Pantry -#105 at Poets United.
photo by ximenez
image from morguefile.com
how deep is
how deep is
your love?
down in the
subway tunnels
on late nights
some nights
aimless rides
the tunnel walls
just inches
from my face
flashing by
our lives
on a reel
of memory
sliding
till it all ends
on a bleak night
and i am
all alone
in the
rumbling wombs
of the trains
that song
playing again
on the tracks
how deep is
your love?
till i resurface
to the neon
drenched streets
to the city lights
starlight
21/04/2012
revised 10/07/2012
**********
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ) 2012
Labels: lovesongs, Poetry, Poets United, urban
posted by dsnake1 at 11:31 PM
10 Comments:
Great poem and I can imagine it as a wonderful song too.
Visiting from Poetry Pantry where I was posting a short poem, and am glad I followed your link. I think the subway is a mystical metaphor chosen beautifully for your poem. I can hear the deep echoing rumbles and see the fragmentary flashes of lights on the tunnel walls so clearly in your carefully chosen words.
Jenny,
thanks for the visit! a song too? i would prefer it in rock. :D
HaikuWater,
thanks for visiting! your words will encourage me to post more at the poetry pantry. :)
you are right that the subway can be a metaphor for many things: claustrophobia, loneliness, urban life. i am glad that you enjoyed the poem. :)
Strong metaphor you've created on this subway. The sights and sounds (along with the smells in some cases) give one an almost surreal feeling of loneliness, even when surrounded by people - much like grieving.
Superb write.
(I did visit here yesterday but your blog would not allow me to comment...)
Anna :o]
K.McGee,
thanks for the visit!
you've it nailed down so perfectly, the feelings one can encounter in the subway. :)
Anna,
thank you!
blogger is acting up again. :)
it happened to me too, when i visited some blogs. then i suspected that it might be the browser. i was using firefox (an older version) then, and when i switched over to another browser, Chrome, i was able to comment.
superb writing!
thank you, Ashok! :)
loved the vivid imagery
it's great to hear from you. thank you! :)
Post a Comment
<< Home